


Cabin Secrets

by moonstruckxxsugar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Soft Yang Jeongin | I.N
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 65
Words: 25,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27338842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstruckxxsugar/pseuds/moonstruckxxsugar
Summary: "They say if you love someone, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. But, if you truly love someone, aren’t you supposed to hold on to them?"In which Jeongin leaves the only home he ever knew and decides to send letters to the boy he misses with all his heart.*Bare with me here. This is the first stray kids fanfic I've published. Please excuse any mistakes I make. I'm not great at writing and I just did this for fun.*• This is set in America! (That part doesn't actually matter that much)• This does contain angst!Warnings:•mentions of abuse•mentions of homophobiaSlight mention of death*I do not own any of Stray Kids and this is purely fictional! Everything I wrote here is just a product of my imagination. *I have a few original characters who make appearances but only one is really important. This is cross posted on wattpad under the same name.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Seungmin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

2019\. 01. 19  
They say if you love someone, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. But, if you truly love someone, aren’t you supposed to hold on to them? You aren’t supposed to give up just like that, right? I’ve been told all my life that if I love someone then I need to tell them. It’s contradicting, really. Up until this point, I believed that if I loved someone then I should let them go to save us both from heartbreak and misery. But, I guess, in doing that it only led up to the exact thing I was trying to avoid. It’s been a year since I left the cabin. Heh. That secluded cabin that all eight of us stayed at that we called home. I remember the first day I arrived you were already there. I was nervous, but Felix and you kept me calm. You both made me feel like I belonged. 

Later that night, I snuck off into the forest to stargaze. Little did I know, you had the same plan. I wandered into the area you were at and you spotted me. You called my name and asked me to come sit with you. Of course, I said yes. We talked about the constellations until our eyes burned from the lack of sleep. Then we snuck back to the cabin where nobody knew a thing of what had happened for the previous five hours. We did the same thing for the next three days. It wasn’t until the fourth night that I realized that you were the most beautiful man that I had laid eyes on. Still yet nobody knew a thing. We kept it that way for two weeks before Jisung happened to stumble upon us. He teased us and I remember we were both blushing messes when we got back to the cabin. 

That didn’t stop us from going out there though. Well, it didn’t until we were practically banned, by Chan, from leaving after eleven p.m. Every once in a while we would still sneak out. If any of the others noticed, they didn’t say anything. I wonder if you still went out there after I left. That was our spot. Sometimes, I miss it. I miss sitting out there, staring at the moon and stars with one of the best people I knew. Maybe it’s you I miss.

Scratch that, I do miss you. More than I could ever explain. And I'm so sorry. 

Sincerely,  
Me  
9012152250251521


	2. Chapter 2

2019\. 02. 08  
It’s been twenty days since the last letter that I know you received. I know it must be odd to get these letters from me out of nowhere, but I had to share my thoughts with you. That’s what we always did. I guess I’m trying to relive my best memories. But, all of those have you in them so they aren’t the same. I just miss you more every day. I wish it wasn’t this way and I can’t blame anyone except for myself. I did this to us and now I face the consequences. I wonder if you’re doing okay though. How is everyone else doing? I know you won’t write back but I still tend to ask those questions. 

So, heh. It’s my birthday. Remember when you said we could go anywhere I wanted when I turned eighteen? I didn’t have the courage to tell you that I would only want to be in a clearing with you. As weird as that sounds, it’s the thing I had wanted for years. It's a little cheesy and cliche... to dance in a moonlit clearing with someone that truly meant a lot to me when I turned eighteen. But, I’m miles away and simply writing a letter to you instead. Oh, how I long to be with my friends. 

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	3. Chapter 3

2019\. 02. 28  
Twenty days again, hey. Yeah, I’m still here writing you letters. If I’m bothering you at all I hope you know you can write and tell me to stop. I don’t want to push you so far. I don’t want to hurt you. Not another time. Not if I can help it. I saw Minho and Jisung in town today. I don’t think they saw me though. I don’t know why I didn’t try to speak to them. Maybe it’s because I don’t know how any of you guys feel about me right now. It hurts not talking to you all but I think it would hurt more if I was turned down. Sometimes, I don’t know what to write so I just basically rant. I’m sorry if it gets on your nerves. 

I wonder if you ever see me in town when I don’t see you. I don’t think I ever realized that was a possibility.  
At this time on July 16th we would have been lying underneath the stars listening to music. You had played Spring Day by BTS and started singing. It was truly beautiful. I told you right after that it was my favorite song. I told you that because I loved your singing, not because I loved the song. I listened to it every day after that though. It soon actually did become my favorite song. Until you replaced it with yet another. This time it was Never Ever by Got7. You asked if I had heard it before and freaked out when I said no. That night you sang it underneath the stars. I still listen to Got7.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	4. Chapter 4

2019\. 03. 20  
Happy birthday, Hyunjin. You’re nineteen, wow. You were seventeen when I left. I hope you have a good day. I woke up early to where I could get this to you to where you could read it today. I wish I was with you so that I could bake a cake. Hopefully, the other guys will have you one ready. I never got to wish you a happy birthday because I wasn’t there either times. You were already seventeen by the time I got there and only weeks away from eighteen when I left. I truly am such a horrible friend, aren’t I? What kind of friend leaves just like that? Without one word to anyone about where I was going or why. I’m such a coward.

I’m sure you have other things planned for today, so I’ll end this with a quick thank you. For getting this far and for being a part of my time as well.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	5. Chapter 5

2019\. 04. 09  
Ah! I saw some of you in town earlier. You all looked happy and I’m so glad. I don’t want to make this too sad. It seems like that’s all I do in these letters and I apologize. I don’t want to make you sad because you don’t deserve that. You deserve happiness and love. You deserve the friends you have. You always made me extremely happy. 

Do you remember that time we put orange hair dye in Felix’s shampoo and he ended up looking amazing anyway? That was so unfair. I saw that he has blonde hair again. It genuinely looks good on him. Also, still unfair.

I’m going to wrap this off by writing about this cute cat I saw in an alley the other day. It was the prettiest calico cat I have ever seen. I just wanted to boop his little nose. I’ve been going back to feed him since then. He’s super sweet too! Maybe one day I can show you a picture of him.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin   
9012152250251521


	6. Chapter 6

2019\. 04. 29  
I don’t really know what to write today but I still wanted to write something. You still haven’t told me to stop writing to you so I assume you don’t mind up to a certain point. Maybe you don’t even read these. Maybe you crumple them up and throw them in the same corner in your room we used to throw our candy wrappers in. I think you’re too kind to do that though. I really hope you read these, honestly. At least then my words are indeed getting somewhere.

I watched movies all day yesterday. Do you remember us fighting over what the best old barbie movie was? I said Barbie As Rapunzel and you said Barbie In The Nutcracker. Then, we both agreed on Barbie and The Diamond Castle. After that, we binge-watched barbie movies. It was ridiculous anyway because neither of us had the greatest English. We had to get Felix and Chan to translate some of it for us. They told us they didn’t mind though. I’ve gotten really better with my English though and can even have a conversation in it. I have to go to town for some things. I’ll write to you soon.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	7. Chapter 7

2019\. 05. 19  
Hi, again. I saw you the other day in town. I was super nervous that you would see me but I don’t think you did. Or maybe you did but didn’t want to talk to me. I don’t know honestly. It was kind of great to see you though. I mean it was absolutely great, but it would have been better if I could work up the audacity to actually speak to you.

I’m sorry, but the letter will be short today. I need to go to work early today. I wouldn’t set myself up for doom by telling you the place I work, but I will say it’s lovely. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	8. Chapter 8

2019\. 06. 08  
On this day, two years ago, I arrived at the cabin. It was the best thing that happened to me. Chan had been the one to bring me there. I had only met you, Jisung, Changbin, and Minho twice before. Not even an hour after I got there I had a panic attack but you and Felix were there to calm me down. You stayed with me even when dinner was done and you were hungry. I told you to go eat but you insisted on remaining right there. At that moment, I knew that you were someone I could be comfortable around and you seemed to have the same feeling. We all watched movies together that night and you were still right by my side. When we all went to bed and I had snuck out, not knowing you had done the same, I planned to sit in the moonlight and reflect on the day. 

I never did get to do that as you distracted me from it. I wasn’t complaining though. I was more than happy that you diverted my thoughts. It was such an exquisite moment, wasn’t it? Then again, I think every minute with you is impeccable.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	9. Chapter 9

2019\. 06. 28  
I ran into Minho two days ago at the store. I mean legitimately ran into him because I wasn’t paying attention. I recently dyed my hair and I quickly turned around when I recognized him hoping that he wouldn’t acknowledge it was me. I mumbled a quick sorry before I bolted out of the aisle he was in. Yes, bolted. I got out of the store as soon as I grabbed the milk I needed as well. That was a mistake since I saw Jisung and Felix waiting outside. I thought they were too busy messing around to recognize me but I was incorrect. I heard Felix ask Jisung if it was me they saw. I didn’t turn around for them to know they were correct. “Unless he has dyed his hair pink then I don’t think so,” I heard Jisung reply. I quickly walked to my car to avoid either of them trying to follow me. I don’t know why I’m telling you cause then you can just get them to point me out if we’re in town at the same time. I swear I’m accidentally going to give you my address or workplace one day in these letters.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	10. Chapter 10

2019\. 07. 18  
Remember that calico cat I wrote about in April? The one I've been going to feed? I went back four days ago and he was gone. I thought maybe he was just hiding or something but I went back every day since and he still hasn’t been there. Maybe someone found him and decided to keep him. If that is the case, I’m glad he has a home now. I’m going to miss petting him though, you know? He was the sweetest :(. Do you ever wonder what cat breed you would be if you were one? You probably don’t since you’re allergic to cat fur but...I have no idea what breed I would be. What about dog breed? I know you prefer dogs over cats. I don’t have anything else to say honestly. I have to get to work anyway. 

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	11. Chapter 11

2019\. 08. 07  
So, Changbin will be twenty in a few days. Please tell him I said happy early birthday. I hope he has a good one this year. How are you doing? Good, I hope. I’m doing okay right now. Sometimes I think what I’m doing is crazy. Isn’t it? I leave these letters for you to read when I could just talk to you face to face or even through text messages. Yet, it feels more sentimental. I don’t even get replies out of doing this, even so, I don’t mind. You only have to reply if you want to. I would never try to force a response out of you just for my own selfishness given that I just want you to be happy. 

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	12. Chapter 12

2019\. 08. 27  
I’ve officially been spotted. Chan saw me yesterday going into a store. I made dead eye contact with him and he gave me a small smile that kind of looked sad but he didn’t try to speak to me. I pursed my lips, nodded towards him, and that was it. I went on with my day and he went on with his, I guess. I didn’t see him after that and I don’t know if he told any of you guys. If he didn’t then I think this is a little awkward now... 

Well, anyway... I’ve been listening to a lot of Day6 lately. Sometimes, I put ‘I Smile’, ‘Beautiful Feeling’, or ‘Colors’ on repeat and listen to them all day. Do you like those songs as well? They’re really amazing.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	13. Chapter 13

2019\. 09. 16  
Please tell Jisung and Felix I said happy belated birthday. They are finally nineteen too :). Oh! Please tell Seungmin happy early birthday for me as well. I can’t believe that I’ll be the only eighteen year old out of the eight of us in less than a week. I hope they all had/will have amazing birthdays. It’s early right now. I couldn’t go to sleep so I just stayed up pretty much all night so it’s 5:23 right now and I’m super tired. My letters have been longer than this but I want to sleep. Good night? Good morning? Bye.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	14. Chapter 14

2019\. 10. 06  
Ah! Chan’s birthday was three days ago. He's twenty-two!!! I met him when he was eighteen, just like myself. I was fifteen at the time and he was around two months from being nineteen. I don’t know how I remember stuff like that. It is useful a lot of the time though. Anyway… I hope Chan had a good birthday. Wish him a belated one for me, please. I hope it’s not a bother that I always ask you to do that when one of their birthdays come up. If it is then I can stop.

What’s your favorite song at the moment? For me, it is Can You Hear My Heart by Epik High ft. Lee Hi. It is an amazing song, I would say. If you haven’t heard it then I suggest listening to it. 

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	15. Chapter 15

2019\. 10. 26  
Yesterday was Minho’s birthday. Please wish him a happy belated birthday for me. These days, everything is uninteresting. I go to work, come back to my apartment, eat, shower, and sleep. It’s the normal routine but it’s still so dull. How is it for you? I hope it’s exciting. Halloween is in just a few days. I don’t have anything planned, do you? 

I remember the only Halloween I was at the cabin for we had a lot of fun. Since it was such a secluded place there weren't any trick-or-treaters so the eight of us stayed in the cabin and binge-watched horror movies. It was a mess honestly because half of us were scaredy cats. I say that because I was also one, but, that’s okay since you were too hehe. Half the night included us just screaming our lungs out. Felix wouldn’t even go to sleep without cuddling up to Changbin. You kept joking about throwing up and when you actually did I laughed and asked if you were okay but then you punched me in the stomach. I didn’t laugh after that even though it didn’t hurt terribly bad. The rest of our night was spent by eating candy and cuddling up to each other. It remains one of my best memories.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	16. Chapter 16

2019\. 11. 15  
So, how was Halloween? I ended up spending time with a friend at the last minute. His little sister's birthday is on Halloween and his parents had a birthday party for her. He didn’t want to be the only teenager and his boyfriend is out of town so I went for him. We just went to the park instead to talk. I fell right asleep when I got home though. I’m still very tired.

We’ve been getting a lot of business at the shop I work at. It’s very nice to see it doing good. That shop is like a second home to me. My first home is more important. I haven’t seen any of you guys in town lately. It’s kind of disappointing because I like to see that you are all doing okay. Maybe I’ll see you soon.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	17. Chapter 17

2019\. 12. 05  
Hey... I heard that Matthew moved. That may be why I haven’t seen you or any of the others for the past few weeks. I have no idea why he left but I know he did. He would come by the shop once a month to leave a letter for me. It would always be on one of my days off when I wasn’t there. He would sometimes even leave a few snacks with it. It was sweet of him to do and I highly appreciated it. He did it for at least thirteen months before he stopped. I was okay with him not doing it anymore because, while I was grateful, I didn’t want him to use his money on me. Whatever the reason for him moving is, I hope he is okay wherever he goes. I hope that the seven of you are also okay together. Do you remember when he would show up at the cabin unannounced and just eat any food we had? Did he still do that after I left? 

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	18. Chapter 18

2019\. 12. 25  
It's Christmas!! It's also my last time writing you a letter in 2019. I'll still write to you of course. I'm currently sitting at my desk with my legs wrapped in a blanket because it's very cold. Do you remember Christmas at the cabin when I was there? It was the first Christmas I had spent with anyone in three years. It was wonderful. We opened the gifts we had gotten each other. You got me a new phone because you knew mine was terribly broken and I needed a new one. Later we all sat in the living room area and watched Christmas movies while we drank hot chocolate. And when Changbin kissed Felix under the mistletoe we pretended to gag but I know you wished you had someone to do that with. When it was getting late and everyone was going to bed you asked me to stay for a few minutes. You handed me a small box that had the prettiest necklace in and said "a beautiful necklace for a beautiful boy," Although it was cliche I started crying. You kept asking if I was okay but I just wanted to hug you. I was more than okay. I think that was the best Christmas I ever had. Thank you for that, Hyunjin. My next letter will come soon.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	19. Chapter 19

2020\. 01. 14  
Well, this is the second year I’ve started without you guys. You know, at this time, two years ago, I wasn’t even planning on leaving the cabin. It sounds odd given that I left on the nineteenth which is only five days later. I didn’t actually start thinking about it until the seventeenth. I’ll admit I didn’t have much of a plan. It was impulsive. You guys were my best friends and I really didn’t have anyone else. You deserve to know the reason I left. All the others deserve to know it too. I’ll tell you all one day but I just can’t bring myself to do that at the moment. If I could go back in time I would have never left. It was absolutely idiotic of me. I’m so sorry.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	20. Chapter 20

2020\. 01. 24  
It’s officially been a little over two years since I talked to you and since I left. I said that I didn’t want to make these letters sad but that’s precisely what I’m doing. I don’t mean to but it just happens. Oh! I forgot to mention last time that my letters will come more often now. You must be shocked to get another one so soon. Sorry about not letting you know. Well, I need to go so I’ll write to you very soon.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	21. Chapter 21

2020\. 02. 03  
I finally saw a few of the others today! I didn’t see you with them though. I had to get groceries and saw Chan, Seungmin, and Changbin in the store. That was the first time I’ve seen Changbin in a while. It was nice. Lately, I’ve been going to the library more. I’ve also been listening to Day6 a lot again. My favorite song at the moment is ‘Not Fine’. Does Seungmin like that one? I know he loved Day6 before but does he still? What’s your favorite song, Hyunjin?

You Calling My Name is very good. Do you like it? How are you, by the way? I’m doing okay at the moment. Though, I would be better if I wasn’t so tired, heh. I’m going out again now. I’ll write soon.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	22. Chapter 22

2020\. 02. 13  
I’m finally nineteen!! I’m your age now, Jinnie. Sorry about the nickname. I don’t know if you like to be called that still. I just realized that neither of us have seen each other on our birthdays. You’ve never been with me for mine and I’ve never been with you for yours. I guess that’s half my fault though. Anyway, it’s five in the morning. I got up early so that I can drop this letter out for you and get to work. I have to work the morning and evening shift today because my coworker is sick. I’m trying to get another job so that I won’t have to rely on the money I get from the shop because business really depends there. Sometimes we do good and other times we don’t. I hope that you and the others are doing good right now. I’ll get going now. 

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	23. Chapter 23

2020\. 02. 23  
I’m working the evening shift today. I put in a job application a few days ago at another place so I’m just waiting to see if I get a call back. How are you doing today? I’m doing good. I just had lunch. I’ll have to leave in two hours to get this letter to you and then get to work. I think I’ll go to the store after my shift to get more milk. Tomorrow is my day off so I may go to the park. I don’t know what to talk about now so I’ll just go get ready to leave. I have to shower anyway. Write to you later!

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	24. Chapter 24

2020\. 03. 04  
So, I have a new job. I work at the shop Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Then the cafe (I’m so not writing which one) on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday as well. So, today I work at the shop. I have to be there in a little less than an hour. I overslept, unfortunately. Lucky for me, I took a shower before going to bed last night. It’s currently 7:35 in the morning. I have to be at the cafe at this time tomorrow. I’m kind of nervous about working there now, but I’ll be fine. I still have to change so I’ll be on my way. Wish me luck, please!

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	25. Chapter 25

2020\. 03. 14  
To start this off, I just want to say happy early birthday. I know I won’t be able to write another letter until after it passes so I just wanted to say it now. You’re going to be twenty! Oldie, hehe. I’m just kidding, obviously. I have to work the morning shift at the cafe. It’s 6:42 a.m. so I need to start getting ready to leave. I have to be there by 7:30. It's actually quite nice working at the cafe. Especially when the place is quiet with just the whispers from a few customers who are usually students trying to get some coffee before going to school. I would tell you to come by some time but please don't. I don't want to have to hide from you. Bye, for now.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	26. Chapter 26

2020\. 03. 24  
How did your birthday go? I hope you had loads of fun. I’m working the evening shift today but I need to go to the store beforehand so that’s when I’ll drop the letter out. I’m earning a lot more money now than I was while working at just the shop. It wasn’t like I couldn’t afford anything before but now I actually have money that can be saved. I’ve been thinking about the fact that when I write ‘shop’ you have no idea what I’m talking about. There are shops for so many different things and yet, you don’t know which one is the place I work. For all I know, you could have been thinking this entire time that I work at a mechanical shop. I don’t, by the way. One day you’ll know but that won’t be today. Bye, Hyunjin.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	27. Chapter 27

2020\. 04. 03  
These months just keep getting shorter it seems. I want to give you a song recommendation in each letter. It’s your choice if you want to listen to it, but I just want to do it. Here’s the first one: ‘It’s Your Eyes I See’ by Hanne Leland. “Don’t know where you are, if you’re near or far. But, you’re here inside when I close my eyes. Every Night I lay down, imagine you next to me. It’s your eyes I see, it’s your eyes I see. There’s no rest in my sleep cause you’re there in my dreams. It’s your eyes I see looking back at me.” It is a beautiful song but it is a little sad. I really suggest listening to it though. I’m working at the cafe for the evening shift again today and it’s already 12:49 so I need to leave.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	28. Chapter 28

2020\. 04. 13  
How are you and everyone else doing? I’m doing okay right now. It seems like most of the time when I write I have to work at the shop that day. Anyway, the song recommendation of the day is ‘The Wreck of Our Hearts’ by Sleeping Wolf. “We were drifting all night, losing hold of the light. But, I saw in your eyes, I was never alone. Even when it got hard. When the shore was too far. Even there in your arms, I've always been home.” It’s quite a nice song and very touching. If you do listen to it, I hope you like it and the other ones I suggest. I should go.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	29. Chapter 29

2020\. 04. 23  
The week started wonderfully. Someone accidentally spilled their coffee on me at the cafe on Sunday then I broke a vase at the shop on Monday. I threw up on Tuesday and had to stay home. Then yesterday, I got to the shop a little bit late and my coworker was mad at me. Luckily, today hasn’t been that bad. I have tomorrow off so I’m just going to relax. The song recommendation today is ‘Lookalike’ by Conan Gray. “But when you look in his eyes, do you think of mine? And when you look at that smile, do I cross your mind? I know in your head, you see me instead 'Cause he looks a lot like I did back then. Baby don't lie, he's just a lookalike.” It’s an amazing song. My favorite part is “and I'll admit that I sometimes, maybe, might, think about you at night, well, almost every night. No matter how I try to hide and erase you from my mind. I'm dying to find a lookalike.” You should definitely listen to it.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	30. Chapter 30

2020 05. 03  
My letters will come sooner than they already are. I have to work both shifts at the cafe today and I’m so tired. I need to go to the store tomorrow as well to get some groceries before my shift at the shop. I have another Conan Gray song recommendation. That being ‘Heather’. “I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you.” It has a nice sound to it. How are you, anyway? I hope you’re doing good. I haven’t seen any of you guys recently but that may be because I’ve only been going to work and back home. I have to get to work so I'll write soon.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	31. Chapter 31

2020\. 05. 08  
Well, I told you they would come sooner but by that, you could have thought a day or two, not five. I’m going to the park with a friend tomorrow so that I can meet his girlfriend. He practically begged me to go with him. He’s a good friend. I just don’t think that my ‘morning shift at the shop’ time should be spent at a park with him and his girlfriend. I said yes to make him happy. My coworker is covering for me and I’ll have to thank her when I go in on Monday. I have to work the evening shift at the cafe as well tomorrow since it’ll be Saturday. I don’t think I ever wrote about how close the two places are to each other, which is how I get to both shifts on time. My apartment, on the other hand, is ten minutes away. Anyway, the song recommendation of the day is ‘Brother’ by Kodaline. “If I was dying on my knees you would be the one to rescue me. And if you were drowned at sea I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.” Have a good day :).

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	32. Chapter 32

2020\. 05. 13  
Five days later, just as I said. Honestly, it feels like this month could last forever. I’m working both shifts at the shop again. I have Friday and Saturday off from there but I still have to work at the cafe on Saturday. But, wait for it, I’m off on Sunday. So really today is my last day of working at the shop until Monday. That’s four days!!! I don’t have much else to write about today. Oh! I did meet my friend's girlfriend. She’s really sweet and I’ve never seen her around before. I only stayed there for maybe thirty minutes before leaving. I just didn’t feel like being a third wheel any longer. Or maybe I was just jealous. I don’t know. You should listen to ‘Stone’ by Jaymes Young. “You spend your nights looking at the stars, thinking your life would be better on mars. Checking your pulse just to feel it beat. Looking for a stone to keep the peace.” Sometimes I listen to this song when I need to calm down. I hope it can calm you as well.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	33. Chapter 33

2020\. 05. 18  
I’m writing this in my car because I forgot to do it this morning and I have to be at work in fifteen minutes. Hi, how are you? Good, I hope. I spent my day off buying groceries. Then, I went home and slept for the rest of the day. With all the work I do I’m exhausted. But, the bills have to be paid somehow, right? Right. So the song I have for you this time is ‘Better With You’ by This Wild Life. “I swear I see the seasons change more often than I see your face. November came and went. The summer left without a trace.” It seems... relatable, doesn’t it? I’m sorry. I should go.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	34. Chapter 34

2020\. 05. 23  
Well, you’re getting a lot of letters this month, aren’t you? My days off were a blessing but this week has been fun. I have both shifts at the shop since I have the day off from the cafe. I have tomorrow, Monday, and Wednesday off too. So, I’m only working at the shop next Friday and Saturday. I’ve been getting a lot of days off since the owner spoke to me about having two jobs. She’s a nice lady. She said that I’m so young and that I need to enjoy life a little and I can’t do that whenever I’m at the shop every other day. I’m still getting paid the same so it doesn’t affect me in a bad way. I like working there though, which is why I don’t mind not having much time off. Song recommendation of the day: ‘Blvd’ by Adam Ragsdale. “I'm right by your side. I'll be holding you tight. Like the first night we fell in love.” It’s a great song :).

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	35. Chapter 35

2020\. 05. 28  
I'm going to drop this off on my way to the cafe for my evening shift. I scraped my knee yesterday and it kind of hurts. I was with a friend at the park and we were just messing around. I'm not even really sure how I scraped it and didn't even notice it until I got home. Now that I think back on it, maybe you're confused about my shifts. The shop is only open from 8:30 a.m. to 6:35 p.m. which is why there are only two shifts. The cafe, on the other hand, is open from 7:30 a.m. until 10:30 p.m. When I work both shifts at the shop that just basically means I worked the whole day. 

The morning shift at the shop ends at 1:30 p.m. while it ends at 1 p.m at the cafe. So, if I do have to work the evening at the cafe after the morning at the shop I get there late. But, of course, I only work at both on Saturday so it's not a big problem. I also usually work in the morning at the cafe so I can get to the shop on time. I never work the third shift, which is the late shift, at the cafe either. Anyway, this has been a long letter so to end it here's my song recommendation: 'Wild' by Troye Sivan. "We're alike you and I, two blue hearts locked in our wrong minds. So can we make the most out of no time?"

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	36. Chapter 36

2020\. 06. 02  
I had the worst nightmare last night and I honestly don’t feel like explaining it right now. I don’t have to work at the cafe today but I do have to leave my apartment anyway because I have to get this to you. It’s not a problem though. I enjoy writing letters to you even if I don’t know if you care. It just feels like I’m getting my feelings and thoughts somewhere. I don’t have anything interesting to write about today so... Well, my song recommendation of the day is ‘Honeybee’ by The Head And The Heart. “We made a garden of the love we found. So many reasons I would fight to stay. You're the courage when I fade. Take a look at what we've made.” It’s a beautiful song, really. I hope you like it.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	37. Chapter 37

2020\. 06. 07  
Tomorrow will be three years from the day I arrived at the cabin. Most of the time, I wish I was there. Then I realize that things would be different. I probably would have never met the sweet lady at the shop or any of my coworkers from either jobs. I’m not saying that I don’t regret leaving because I most certainly do. It’s just that I’m thankful to have met these wonderful people that are in my life right now. That is why my song suggestion for today is ‘In Case You Don’t Live Forever’ by Ben Platt. “In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now. I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around. In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you.” My favorite part is “You put all your faith in my dreams, you gave me the world that I wanted. What did I do to deserve you?” Bye, for now.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	38. Chapter 38

2020\. 06. 12  
Three years ago on this night, we were lying underneath the moon and you told me that your dad used to say "I want to touch the stars someday. Wouldn't that be spectacular?" Then in which you would reply "mighty" because that was your favorite word. You only had your dad at the time and you two would look at the stars every night until he passed away. Later on, you whispered, "I think he got what he wanted." I didn't reply to you because I didn't know what to say and I think you took it that I didn't hear you. But, I did hear you and I heard the sadness in your voice despite how quietly you said it. Five minutes later you wanted to dance so you pulled out your phone and played a random song. You danced until you were so tired that you practically fell on the ground and I carried you halfway back to the cabin.

We had gotten to know a lot about each other within the four days I had been there. We all had to share rooms as there were only four bedrooms. Before I got there the arrangement was Felix and Seungmin, you and Minho, Jisung and Changbin, and Chan. But afterwards, Chan arranged it again and even bought another mattress to put in one of the rooms. The next arrangement was Seungmin and Jisung, Changbin and Minho, Felix, you, and I, and then Chan. I always wondered why he put the three of us in one room but he didn't share his with anyone. It was okay though because the bottom bunk bed was big enough for two people anyway. So, you and I just shared it until Chan placed the other mattress in there. Anyway, the song recommendation is 'Umbrella' by Rihanna but instead, the cover by All Time Low. "You're part of my entity, here for infinity."

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	39. Chapter 39

2020\. 06. 17  
On June 17th, 2017, the eight of us sat outside of the cabin and ate ice cream and played capture the flag with water balloons. It was very fun. We were in teams of three and had a certain color. For yellow it was Minho and Changbin. For blue it was Chan, Felix, and Jisung. For red it was Seungmin, you, and I. The first out was Seungmin, who seemed enraged because of who it was by. I think I would be pretty angry too if one of my team members got me out. You got him out accidentally and I was certain that he could have killed you right then and there. Chan then got you and Minho got him.

I came face-to-face with Felix and when I thought he was going to let me go he just whipped out a water balloon and ended my game life. But, revenge was served when his crush got him out. It was a face-off between Minho, Changbin, and Jisung after that. “I’ll do your chores for two weeks,” is what Minho said just before he got his own teammate out. Minho tried talking Jisung into it being a tie by saying “I don’t want to hurt you but I also want to destroy your life at this moment,” so Jisung went along with it until Minho got within range. Then, in which, he threw water balloons at him as if his life depended on it and captured the flag. The blue team won. It was a great day. The song suggestion today is ‘Old Pine’ by Ben Howard. “We stood steady as the stars in the woods so happy-hearted And the warmth rang true inside these bones.”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	40. Chapter 40

2020\. 06. 20  
In 2017, on this day, we went to the beach. I had never been before so it was a new experience. It wasn’t so bad at first. I haven’t the slightest idea why people enjoy it though. It’s hot, people are sweaty, it smells like sunscreen, and sand gets in places it shouldn’t be. I could keep going. It was okay though as long as I had you guys there. We didn’t stay there for a very long time and Chan wouldn’t even let us back into the car without rinsing off any sand that was stuck to us. When we got back to the cabin I was the first one in the shower because I couldn’t stand the sticky feeling the saltwater caused. Later when you and I snuck off, we didn’t stargaze. We took the blue 2014 dodge avenger out for a night drive. Frankly, I didn’t know you could, in fact, drive. Chan had that car for whenever he went somewhere by himself or maybe with two others. If we were all with him then we rode in the 2016 Chevrolet Suburban that he had gotten five months prior. We had fun until we got back and Chan was sitting there waiting for us... Anyway, the song of the day is ‘Suburbia’ by Troye Sivan. “There's so much history in my head. The people I've left. The ones that I've kept”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	41. Chapter 41

2020\. 06. 23  
I completely didn’t mention the fact that the letters are going to come sooner but you already figured that out by now, haven’t you? I haven’t got much to write today. I’m working the morning shift at the cafe and it’s 6:32 a.m. right now. I haven’t been sleeping a lot lately. I’m sure there are noticeable bags under my eyes. It has nothing to do with work, I just have a great deal on my mind at night. I’m off tomorrow and Thursday. I never brought up the fact that I have a piano. I played it yesterday until it felt like my fingers were going to fall off. I have two song recommendations today. ‘Turning Pages’ by Sleeping At Last and ‘Never Be The Same’ by Camila Cabello. The cover of the latter by Alexander Stewart is marvelous. “If I had only felt the warmth within your touch. If I had only seen how you smile when you blush Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough. Well, I would have known what I was living for all along.”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	42. Chapter 42

2020\. 06. 26  
As I recall, Felix and I almost burnt down the cabin on this day three years ago. We wanted food. However, neither of us could cook and got distracted which ended badly. We tried to cook some eggs and toast but... forgot the toast. So, it got burnt and the smoke detector started beeping annoyingly. We ran around trying to get it to stop before Chan got home or else he would have asphyxiated us because we weren’t exactly allowed into the kitchen. Nevertheless, we stopped it and lived through the day. All these good memories seem to cancel out my bad ones and I’m so very thankful for them. The song suggestion today is ‘Safe And Sound’ by Taylor Swift. “Hold on to this lullaby. Even when the music’s gone.”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	43. Chapter 43

2020\. 06. 29  
It was like a tradition to have dinner with Chan’s family on the 29th of each month and this time, I joined. His mom made the best spaghetti that I had in my entire life. I went a total of seven times. Do the seven of you still do that? It was fun to do. The food was different each time and afterwards, we would play games until it was almost midnight. Chan’s the only one of the eight of us who still really had a family to see and talk to. He knew how lucky he was to have them and I’m sure he still does now. Do any of the others talk about missing their families anymore? You were all aware that I didn’t like to talk about mine. Besides, there’s not much to say anyway. To this day I still don’t even know if any of you besides Chan has any knowledge about what happened. The song of the day is ‘Hold Me While You Wait’ by Lewis Capaldi. “Tell me more, tell me something I don't know. Did we come close to havin' it all?” My favorite line is “I'm waitin' up, savin' all my precious time. Losin' light, I'm missin' my same old us Before we learned our truth too late.”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	44. Chapter 44

The familiar ding sounded through the shop. “Hey, Jeongin,” said a boy with curly brown hair and a bright smile. “Hey, Beomgyu,” the former mentioned replied. “I restocked the gerberas and carnations so that you only have to do the roses, camellias, and the forget me nots,” the younger boy said. “You didn’t have to do that. You’ve already done the work for your shift.” Jeongin softly responded. “I wanted to,” Beomgyu declared. “Besides, it wasn’t that hard and I didn’t have anything else to do.” The older thanked him. 

Beomgyu had been someone that Jeongin could count on if he was ever having a hard time. They were childhood friends. Jeongin then moved away and they lost contact. The older eventually moved back, got back in contact with the other, and when he had left the cabin it was Beomgyu he stayed with until he could get a job. Luckily for him, Beomgyu worked at a nice flower shop that needed a few more workers and got him the job. The boy felt as though he could never fully explain how appreciative he was of Beomgyu.

“I’m going to start restocking. Tell me when you start to leave, okay?” Beomgyu only nodded. Jeongin started restocking the flowers that the other boy had mentioned. He loved flowers and the shop as well. He also loved the aroma of the fresh peonies and jasmines. The shop was like a second home to him with how much he worked there. 

“I almost forgot. Do you know a boy that um,” Beomgyu began asking but then paused. “He has black hair and he’s my height.” Jeongin merely stared at him. “Um… he was with another boy who’s probably your height. He had blonde hair and freckles.” Jeongins eyes widened at this statement. “I think the one with black hair had a mole under his eye.” Jeongin muttered something to himself that the younger couldn’t understand. “Why are you asking?” Jeongin finally questioned. “Oh, they came in yesterday. They wanted to know if you worked here. I said yes and one of them gave me this,” Beomgyu said, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to the older boy.

On the page, it said “ ‘Paper Hearts’ by Tori Kelly. “Remember the way you made me feel. Such young love but something in me knew that it was real.” - H.H ”

Jeongin smiled to himself and looked up at the other male. “Did he say anything else?” “No. He just handed it to me and they both left in a blue car.” “Thank you,” the pink-haired boy said quietly and hugged Beomgyu. “You’re welcome.” The latter slightly questioned why he was being thanked but just shrugged it off. 

What he couldn’t stop thinking about was why Jeongin was so delighted about getting a piece of paper from a boy that he has never seen set foot into the shop before. 

Jeongin, on the other hand, only had one thing on his mind: Hyunjin was reading his letters. His thoughts and feelings were actually getting somewhere. He felt like he could start crying at any second from the fact that this is the first time Hyunjin has contacted him for two years. He wondered if this is the way the older boy felt when Jeongin first started writing to him. 

He went on with his day with a smile on his face and when he got home he immediately listened to the suggested song.


	45. Chapter 45

2020\. 07. 02  
I listened to the song you suggested. ‘Paper Hearts’. It was a sad yet beautiful song. It’s very slow and emotional but I like it. We had a picnic on this day. We all set it up in that clearing by the cabin. The one I imagined dancing in with you when I turned eighteen. You had shown it to me just a week into my arrival. I fell in love with the place and when the others decided on a picnic we both agreed on the clearing. It was no longer a secret we both held but instead one that we all shared. But, Minho found out it was a private spot for us and told the others not to go there anymore. You told him it was alright but he insisted. Minho cared a lot about you. Sometimes I thought he really felt like you were truly his little brother. I figured it had something to do with the fact that Minho only had Chan before you showed up. You were new to him and he wanted to protect you, different from what everyone else had done for him. Next was Changbin. As time went on, Seungmin, Felix, and Jisung arrived in that order. Out of anyone who could have been the ninth resident, it was me that Chan had decided to bring back. He worked at a bookstore that I would go to and he noticed my bruises. He didn’t want me to deal with anymore so he got me out. This is going further than I thought it would. The song of the day is ‘Neptune’ by Sleeping At Last. “I'm only honest when it rains. An open book, with a torn out page And my inks run out. I wanna love you but I don't know how.”

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	46. Chapter 46

“Jeongin!” A girl yelled. “Hello to you too, Mirabelle,” the pink-haired boy replied upon walking into the cafe. “It’s Thursday. You know what that means,” Mirabelle said as she sent a wink to the younger boy. “That I get to train the new worker,” he said unenthusiastically. He had only been working there for nearly four months, so he didn’t understand why he was the one they assigned to the new boy and not someone more skilled. “Oh, come on. Act more excited,” she said. “Oh, and by the way, someone came looking for you yesterday.” “I thought you didn’t work on Wednesdays,” Jeongin said, confused. “I don’t but Ace and Ryker were,” she replied. He stared at her, hoping she got the message to continue speaking. 

“They told me that these three boys came in here asking if you work here or not. Ryker is an idiot though and said you’d be here tomorrow despite not knowing who they were. Ace asked them why they needed you and who they were, but they only gave him a note and said they were old friends. According to Ryker, they were hot. So,” she paused. “Why didn’t you tell me you had hot friends?” She yelled as she started to hit him with his own apron. “First of all, ow. Second of all, three? Third of all, is Ace here yet?” She nodded, “He’s in the back.” Jeongin walked to the back of the cafe and saw Ace talking to Corinne, one of the other workers. “Ace,” he said quietly. “Hey, Jeongin. What’s up?” Said boy replied. “I was just wondering about the three people who came in yesterday.”

“So, Mirabelle told you? One of them told us to give this to you. I’ve literally never seen them here before. But here you go.” He pulled out a wrinkled paper. “By any chance, did one of the boys have freckles with blonde hair?” Jeongin asked and got a nod. “Um, the other one. He had black hair and a mole under his eye, right?” “Yeah, do you actually know them?” Ace questioned. “It’s complicated but yeah um. At one point they were my best friends. The other one, what did he look like?” Ace thought about it for a second, “like a squirrel.” “Jisung,” Jeongin muttered, smiling like a buffoon. “What?” Jeongin shook his head, said a quick thank you, and went back over to Mirabelle. “So, do you know these mystery boys?” Jeongin smiled and nodded. “Can I meet them?” She bounced up and down. “If you’re looking for a boyfriend, you won’t find one in them. They’re all gay and two of them had boyfriends last time I checked.” She pouted at his response, “what about the third one?” The younger boy glared at her until she came to a realization, “you like the third one,” she declared, grinning. He quickly tried to quiet her down, “tell no one.” 

“So, do they not have your number or something?” She asked. “It’s complicated. Before you ask, I didn’t know they would show up here, nor did I know they even knew I worked here. Two of them showed up at the shop on Tuesday and gave my coworker a note just like they did this time,” Jeongin explained. “Look, I’ve tried to keep where I work on the low so they wouldn’t find me and this is kind of terrifying for me. It’s not that I’m scared of them. I love them and I would give anything to be able to be with them again but I can’t. I abandoned them the last time. I don’t - I don’t want to do it again.” At this point, the older girl was more confused than she had been throughout her entire high school life. “May I ask why you abandoned them?” Jeongin shook his head, “I don’t like talking about it. But, it had to do with one of them. He didn’t do anything wrong. I just couldn’t be there, you know? I’m sorry, it’s not a very good explanation,” the fox-like boy faltered. Mirabelle only hugged him and told him it was okay. “You should get ready. Blaine should be here soon to where you can start training him. What did the note say anyways?” Jeongin shrugged, “I haven’t read it yet. He pulled it out of his pocket and just as he suspected, it was a song suggestion from Hyunjin.

‘Running Home To You’ by Grant Gustin. “Can't say how the days will unfold. Can't change what the future may hold. But, I want you in it. Every hour, every minute.” My favorite line is “ I am meant to be wherever you are next to me.”

He smiled to himself. “It’s nothing important, really,” he said as he placed it back in his pocket and went on with his business.


	47. Chapter 47

2020\. 07. 05  
‘Running Home To You’ is such a great song. I like it a lot actually. So, you know the two places I work at. I’m still slightly confused about how you found out which cafe it was. I called to have Wednesday off from the shop so Mirabelle (my coworker/friend from the cafe) and I can go do something together. She says I need to get out more. I have to be back at the shop by 6:15 p.m. so that I can restock my portion of the flowers though. It’s easier now that I don't have to be careful about what I say about my jobs. How is everyone doing? I’ve been doing well these past few days. The song of the day is ‘Always’ by Isak Danielson. “And for every song, there's a song we're not singing. For every step, there's a step we're not taking. So let me know if there's something I'm missing. 'Cause this is all I need.” Do you know what today is?

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	48. Chapter 48

2020\. 07. 05  
There are two letters today because it was one of the best days of my life. We went to an amusement park, all of us. I hadn’t been to one in more than ten years. When we got there. I was too excited to pay attention to who was in each group. All I knew was that you and Jisung were with me. We went on one ride that I didn’t catch the name off but it was mostly yellow and red. I later found out that it was called the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit. We had to pass through metal detectors before getting on, which, not going to lie, had me a little worried. I was screaming the entire time because it was thrilling. I mean, who wouldn’t scream if there was a huge drop? Next, we went to Revenge Of The Mummy. It was fairly intense. I got scared at one point and instinctively reached for your hand, which you held with a smile. You stood in line with me for two hours at the Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey ride just cause I wanted to get on it. Minho had snatched Jisung away so it was just us at that point. I secretly liked it though. 

We rode a few more before it started raining. We ran around the park looking for the others and shelter. They ended up finding us huddled under a small stand that barely kept the rain off of us. You all kept apologizing to me because I was so excited to be there but we couldn’t stay. I didn’t care though. I was just happy that I was with all of you. Later that night, when it had stopped raining so hard, we went on The Wheel At ICON Park. We split into two groups and Chan paid for all of us. It was so nice seeing the city like that, especially at night. I would steal glances at you every once in a while and you looked just as mesmerizing as the city lights. Once we got to the hotel we were staying at we were all so tired yet so awake. We watched movies until 3 a.m. then we got in Chan’s 2016 Chevrolet Suburban and cruised through the city. We all fell asleep within five minutes of getting back and ended up waking up thirty minutes before we had to leave. I wish we could do it again.

Sincerely,  
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	49. Chapter 49

“It was crazy,” Mirabelle said. “Okay wait. So you're telling me that you met this random girl, who was apparently your cousin, at some cane syrup making place. Then she took you on an adventure?” Jeongin questioned, confused. “That is exactly what I’m telling you,” Mirabelle answered. “See, I have a cousin named Rylan and he’s one year older than me. We were with our nana, Rylan’s dad, and Julianna, who is Rylan’s older sister. Well, the people there were apparently related to us distantly and they introduced me and Rylan to this girl. She asked us if we wanted to leave the place and we agreed,” she continued.

“She took us up this hill and we played on it for a while but then she took us further along the road and she made it seem like we couldn’t be spotted by any passing cars because it was illegal. Then we got to this house that she told us a guy hung himself at and literally left us there for ten minutes before coming back to get us. This girl was probably fifteen and we were like- seven or eight. But, I am glad she took us because I hated the smell of the syrup.” Jeongin laughed, “weird story but it definitely does sound like an adventure.” “Oh, that’s not even the best part,” Mirabelle spoke. “Rylan, Julianna, their dad, and I got lost in the woods behind the house. We walked around for an hour before finally making it out to the lake and our nana was sitting there in her van.” Jeongin laughed even louder at this. “I didn’t have those kinds of adventures as a kid.” They sat in silence for a few minutes as they ate their food. “Hey, um, Jeongin, it’s six o’clock,” Mirabelle warned. “Crap, let’s go,” the boy said.

They were about to pull in when Jeongin saw a familiar car. “Mirabelle park over here,” he said. She stared at him for a second, “Jeongin that is a handicap spot.” “Just please pull in.” 

“Why do you want me to park here and not where you park?” She asked. Jeongin pointed to the car that was a few spots down from them, “that’s the same old friends from the other day.” “You don’t want to go see them?”

“What? Mirabelle, no! I couldn’t possibly. I mean, I haven’t seen them in over two years,” he declared. “Well, there’s always somewhere to begin,” the girl replied before getting out of the car and walking in the shop where the others were at. Jeongin groaned at the thought of the boys knowing he was there. He wondered if Mirabelle was actually going to speak to them. A few minutes passed before four people walked out of the shop. Mirabelle, Jisung, Felix, and Hyunjin.

He hadn’t seen him in months but he still looked just as beautiful. He quickly ducked down in the seat and waited for Mirabelle. “You can stop hiding now and read this note,” the older said upon getting in the car. Jeongin sat up and grabbed the paper she was holding out. “I asked if they were there for you and they looked at me like I had just licked their mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. I had to explain who I was and Hyunjin gave me that note.” Jeongin finally read the paper.

‘All I Want’ by Kodaline. “So you brought out the best of me, A part of me I've never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean. Our love was made for movie screens.” - H.H

“You should go in before your coworker tries to kill you. She heard me say your name and straight-up glared at me,” Mirabelle said, laughing. “Yeah, I should. Thanks for today by the way-” Jeongin started but Mirabelle cut in. “Woah I thought I was just waiting here for you to get done so that I can take you home.” Jeongin sat there for a second, “well Beomgyu offered to take me home since he’ll get through with his shift when I’m finished but… if you want to hang out some more I’ll tell him that I’ve got a ride.” Mirabelle didn’t miss a beat when she responded, “heck yeah. Tell him that your best friend is taking you with her. Make sure you emphasize best friend.” Jeongin laughed and got out of the car, “I’ll see you in a bit.”


	50. Chapter 50

“Hyunjin, if you don’t turn that down, I’m going to shove this-” A brown-haired boy started but was interrupted by another boy with red hair, “what’s going on?” “What’s going on? Hyunjin over here keeps blasting ‘Here Without You’ on repeat and screaming ‘boy’ whenever the word ‘girl’ comes up,” the former explained. “Jisung, that’s no reason to practically threaten him,” the latter said. “But Seungmin, I can’t even hear my own thoughts,” Jisung whined. “Hyunjin, please turn it down,” the younger shouted from behind the door. The oldest of the three did listen to Seungmin. “Okay, that’s rude. I asked him to turn it down two hours ago,” Jisung once again complained. “He just loves me more.” 

They took a few steps away when Hyunjin turned it up again. “Just because we walked away doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge the volume difference,” the squirrel look alike yelled. “Just leave it, Sungie,” another brown-haired male said. “Oh look, the boyfriend has decided to join. I’m leaving,” Seungmin said and walked away.

“Seungmin! Have you seen my mouse?” Felix said, shaking the boy. “Lix, can you stop shaking me? I haven’t seen it.”

“Oh, right. Sorry about that. I guess I’m not playing my game so, do you want to watch a movie with me?” Felix asked. Seungmin nodded.

They sat down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and were just getting through the previews when another boy came into the room. “Are you two watching a movie without me?” “You can join, Binnie.” 

“If I join I’m inviting Jisung and Minho,” he said. “Go ahead,” both of the other boys said at the same time. Soon the living room was filled with five boys who were either cuddling, feeding each other popcorn, or sitting alone in Seungmin's case. “Why am I the only single one here?” The youngest said. “Hyunjin and Chan are in their rooms,” Jisung said. “Babe, Hyunjin basically already has a future husband,” Minho replied. “Don’t act like you couldn’t be in a relationship right now. We see the way you look at Chan. He looks at you the same way too,” Felix commented.

Seungmin blushed and looked down, “he doesn’t like me.” They heard a loud screech. “The heck you mean he doesn’t like you? Boy, I have never seen him so whipped,” Hyunjin loudly exclaimed. “How long have you been in here?” Changbin asked. “Long enough to know Seungmin is either oblivious or in denial.” The black-haired boy said.

“Operation SeungChan is a go,” Felix whispered. The other boys stared at him. “What? It’s their ship name. Someone had to say it.”

“Well, I’m going back to my room now. Felix, we’ll talk about the details later.” And with that, Hyunjin was gone.


	51. Chapter 51

2020\. 07. 08  
Do you remember when we did the scavenger hunt? One of the things on the list was to find something taller than you. To be able to prove that we got all of the items on the list, we had to take pictures of them. So, I took a picture of you. You laughed and told me that it could have been a tree and took a picture of one. I liked the picture of you better though. Later that night we had a bonfire and roasted marshmallows. You kept burning yours so I gave you mine. We stayed out late that night and stargazed again. This time, we weren’t alone. It was so peaceful that I almost fell asleep. Why did I have to be so dumb and leave? We could be making memories right now. ‘Another Summer Without You’ by Alexander 23. “Bed bugs only bite the lonely. Baby, I've got scars from wishin' you could hold me.” Sorry that the letter is so short today. ‘All I Want’ is a great song, by the way.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	52. Chapter 52

2020\. 07. 11  
‘The Fault In Our Stars’ by Troye Sivan was a really great suggestion you made. “I don't wanna let this go. I don't wanna lose control. I just wanna see the stars with you” It’s truly beautiful. My song recommendation is ‘Stop And Stare’ by OneRepublic. “Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go nowhere. Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared. But I've become what I can't be.” Day6’s cover of it is magnificent. You should definitely listen to it if you have time. I have today off from the shop so I’m working the morning shift at the cafe and then I’m going to hang out with some friends. Mirabelle keeps asking about you guys. I hope I don’t get interrogated today. I especially hope that none of the others decide to do the same. To be honest, I miss all of you. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't left, would everything have stayed the same? Would we still be living in the cabin? Anything could have happened. We could have even ended up in a worse situation than this. It scares me to think that I may have done all of us a favor by leaving. Bye, for now.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	53. Chapter 53

2020\. 07. 14  
You have quite the suggestions, Hyunjin. ‘Moon And Back’ by Alice Kristiansen. “We may fall but we'll keep on going. We may break but we won't stay broken. Through the cracks in the road, the flowers grow.” So, my suggestion for you is ‘Emerald Eyes’ by Anson Seabra. “The summer night, the fading light. The perfect place, the perfect time To take you somewhere we both want to go. A starry drive in mid-july. Park the car, turn off the lights, And venture through a field out on our own.” I’m working the morning and evening shifts at the cafe today. I’m sort of physically exhausted but I’ll be okay. I have Saturday off from both the cafe and the shop. I was going to work but Mirabelle told me that I needed to rest. So, she’s getting Corinne to take my shift at the cafe, and Beomgyu is covering mine at the shop. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal though. I’ve been doing this for so long it’s just natural that I’m tired. I should go though, Jinnie. I hope to get another suggestion soon.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	54. Chapter 54

2020\. 07. 17  
“Stay with me, hold my hand, And the night will go. Run around, light the dark. We'll be beautiful. We can stay lost in the moment. Love each other down 'til the sun rise up.” ‘Lost And Found’ by Tedy. It’s a lovely song. I’m really glad you suggested it to me. I have been listening to it on repeat for the past three hours. My next recommendation is ‘I can’t Love You Too Deep’ by the same artist. “I can't love you too deep but don't let go. Meet me somewhere in between but don't take hold.” 

Mirabelle is going to come over tomorrow when she gets off from her shift at the cafe. I know you have talked to her before but, I don’t exactly know what she told you about herself. She’s one of my best friends besides Beomgyu. We see each other a lot more than Beomgyu and I do. She always knows what to say. She’s super funny and supportive. I knew her before working at the cafe because she would come into the shop every week to get new flowers for her mom. I’ve known her for two years and almost five months since I met her a week into working at the shop and well... I’ve been working there for that long. After I started working at the cafe, she would bring the others to the shop to hang out. Least to say, the workers from the shop and the cafe are kind of close. I think you would like her if you got to know her. She definitely would like you and the others. Have a good day, Jinnie. I’ll write to you soon.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	55. Chapter 55

2020\. 07. 20  
You showed up at the shop during my work hours?!?! I’m lucky Mirabelle had shown up and was outside at the time... Or did you know that she would be there and she was waiting for you?? It doesn’t matter really. She gave me the paper with the suggestion. ‘Scared’ by Jeremy Zucker. I may or may not have started crying while listening to it but we’re not going to focus on that. This time you actually gave me a second song. ‘I Won’t Give Up’ by Jason Mraz. I liked it so much that I learned how to play it on the piano in three hours. You should listen to ‘I Found’ by Amber Run. “I’ve moved further than I thought I could but I missed you more than I thought I would.” Do you remember that horrendous painting we made on this day, two years ago? It could hardly have been counted as a painting even. It simply looked like a mess of dots and lines. Kind of like splatter paintings but much worse. From magenta to hazelnut brown smeared improperly with a bright orange hue across the canvas. On top laid a splatter of murky green paint with splashes of hot pink bordering it. It was truly the ugliest thing I had seen but we had fun doing it. I guess that's what art is.

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	56. Chapter 56

2020\. 07. 23  
You suggested two songs again. ‘Iris’ by Goo Goo Dolls and ‘Angel With A Shotgun’ by The Cab. “When everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am.” “I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.” Both are wonderful. It’s my turn to recommend two songs. ‘King’ by Lauren Aquilina and ‘In My Veins’ by Andrew Belle. “Oh, you're in my veins and I cannot get you out. Oh, you're all I taste at night inside of my mouth.” Do you remember the escape room we did? We were so close to getting done with it but we ran out of time. Later on we made popsicles and tie dyed shirts. It was a fun experience. It was only around five p.m. when we got finished so we went bowling. It was the first time I had been. I did a lot of things for the first time with you guys. There is still stuff I haven’t done so maybe I’ll have more firsts with the people I love. 

Sincerely,   
Jeongin  
9012152250251521


	57. Chapter 57

2020\. 07. 26  
“You're sharing my bloodline. You're the constant in my life. So I will be right here, I'll see you through.” ‘Stay’ by Hanne Leland. I have to admit that I didn’t know this song even though the first song I suggested to you was by the same artist. Lauren Aquilina’s song ‘Fools’. That’s my suggestion. “The anticipation before the kiss Mirrored in my shaking lips. Oh god, I feel so unprepared. The two of us so out of place. My feelings written on my face. Got what I want but now I'm scared.” How odd is it that all of us ended up in the same city in America? At one point, I didn’t believe in fate, but I think my mind was changed as soon as I realized that you guys were my family. Call me cliche, but I couldn’t live without any of you. The truth is that I left because I was scared. I was scared of the fact that maybe one day you guys would kick me out or just want me to leave. I was scared that I would do something wrong. To avoid the pain, I left before that could happen. You made me feel things I was terrified of feeling. I was terrified of falling in love with you. I was terrified of finding happiness in who you were. I was terrified that you would simply neglect me in the end. You are the epitome of art in my eyes. The most ethereal person I have ever seen. You felt like what home is supposed to be. All of you guys did but you especially. 

I was comfortable whenever you were around. I know I should have just talked to you instead of leaving without an explanation but I was worried about what you would say. Perhaps you wouldn’t have felt the same. Sometimes whenever I can’t breathe I hear you telling me it’ll be okay just the way you did the first day. I used to wake up with tear marks on my face from dreaming about you. I’ve never told anyone that. I’ve thought about stopping these letters I write to you for a while now but I could never bring myself to do it. Until now, that is. I don’t want you to hurt because of me. And you are. I know you are. You have to be hurting the same way I am. Please, let me go before this goes any further. I feel like these letters are just holding us back and you don’t deserve that. It hurts way more letting you go now than it ever did before. I think the worst pain I’ve had to endure is losing the only people I ever loved.  
I don’t know if you ever realized but the number under my name on every letter was a code. 9012152250251521. It means I love you, Hyunjin. I’m so sorry I never said it before.

Forever,  
Jeongin


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~
> 
> TW  
> *Mentions of abuse *
> 
> ~

The sound of shrill screams echoed off the walls in the empty cafe. “You told me you didn’t know who recommended me to train Blaine!” Jeongin screeched. “Whoopsies,” Mirabelle said as she ran from the younger boy. “We’re supposed to be cleaning so we can open up later! By the way, you’re really rocking that red hair.” “Don’t try to distract me from the fact that you made me train your brother!” “Oh come on he’s not that bad.”

“It’s not that he’s bad, Mirabelle. I quite enjoy his company, actually. It’s that he literally spilled five vanilla lattes on me in one day while I was trying to train him and acted like I was what you see at the gates of Heaven.” Mirabelle burst into laughter, “you didn’t tell me that.” 

“Yeah, obviously. Why would I?” The two quit bickering and got back to sweeping as soon as they heard the bell on the door. “I’m sorry. The cafe is closed right now,” the red-haired boy said without looking at who had entered. “Jeongin,” Mirabelle whispered. He looked over at her and saw that she was looking towards the figures. He slowly looked the same way and his mouth dropped. There, in all their glory, stood Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin. He immediately took off into the back room. He prayed that Mirabelle wouldn’t let them through and that they were just there to get coffee. His prayers went unheard since the door swung open and in came the three boys he was hiding from. “Alright, I’ll go out there. Just don’t touch me.”

“Mirabelle, you betrayed me.” “Well, I’ve had Felix’s number for three weeks,” she replied. “Did you guys plan this?” He looked between the girl and the boy with purple hair. “Yeah. You’ve got a cool friend,” Felix plainly said. “Can we sit down and talk?” Jisung asked. The five sat down at a table and began having conversations. For a while, the three boys forgot why they originally came. “We missed you,” Seungmin randomly blurted out. Jeongin looked down sadly. “Yeah, I missed you guys too.” “I’m going to go get the pastries ready,” Mirabelle said knowing what was coming next.

A few minutes passed before anyone spoke. “Jeongin, do you have any clue why we’re here?” Jisung had asked.  
Jeongin shook his head, “no idea.” 

“We want you to come back to the cabin,” Felix spoke softly. Jeongin’s heart ached. Why would they want him back after what he had written to Hyunjin? They had to have known if they came here to get him, right? “Did you guys read the letter?” “We did. He let us.” He felt like a little kid whose parents were disappointed in him for doing something he shouldn’t have. “Then, why would you want me there? You read it. You know you would all be better without me.” He couldn’t help it. It just slipped off his tongue.

“That’s beyond incorrect,” Jisung declared. “If we didn’t want you there then we wouldn’t have shown up. We do truly want you there.”  
“Do you know how weird it’s been with only seven people in the cabin for so many months? Extremely,” Seungmin said, trying to lighten the mood. Jeongin let out a breathy laugh at this.  
“Chan first brought you there for a reason, you know? He thought that you could do well with us and us with you. He was right,” Seungmin mumbled. “You were different from us. Chan knew nothing about your situation except that it was abuse. We had opened up to him within days of him bringing us to the cabin. But you didn’t. At least not until way later on. We respected that of course since it’s your privacy. He liked you cause you were strong, Jeongin.”

“My parents were abusive to me,” the red-haired boy suddenly said. “Only to me though. Not to my brothers. I guess because they actually had friends and hobbies. All I had was Beomgyu, a notepad, and a pencil. I never found out the actual reason though. I think they saw me as a nuisance. It got worse when they found out I was gay. You all know that Chan had seen me in the bookstore he worked at. I went there almost every day and he would sometimes try to talk to me. At first, I was kind of reluctant to speak back. He’d come sit at the table that I was at and would recommend me a book every once in a while. He was so nice to me and I never understood why. Then, I met all of you guys. Some of you more than once even and it was so nice to have other people to keep me distracted. When my parents would hit me, it was where nobody would see. The first time they ever hit me across the face was five weeks after I met Chan and two after I met you guys. I had to get out of the house that day but Beomgyu was busy and the only other place I felt safe was the bookstore. When I walked in, Chan had immediately tried to make sure I was okay. I didn't tell him anything until two weeks later. I had been staying at Beomgyu’s house for five days and finally decided to tell Chan the reason why. He had told me about all of you and even offered for me to stay with you guys as well. I didn’t want to be a burden but he eventually convinced me to go with him. The difficult part was getting away from my parents.” He looked down at his hands in his lap and finally realized how much he had said.

“Beomgyu went back to the house with me to get more of my stuff after I told him that I was going to stay with someone else. That was the first time he had seen first hand what my parents would do. My mother had asked where I was going and slapped me when I answered that I was leaving. She called me ungrateful and said I would never survive out in the world as a sixteen-year-old, obnoxious boy. I told her that I would survive better than I ever did with them and that I didn’t have to prove anything to her because I knew my worth. She slapped me again and told me to get out. So I did and I went back to the bookstore to meet Chan. Beomgyu had to make up some lie to tell his parents where I was going. They couldn’t know about what happened to me and I made Beomgyu promise me that he wouldn’t say anything. Then I met you guys and it felt even safer than the bookstore. We all had things in common when it came to our past and I couldn’t explain the way it felt to know I wasn’t alone. I don’t know why I never told you guys even though I did trust you.”

“We understood that you didn’t want to tell us. We didn’t want to force you to. Like Seungmin said, it was your privacy. We were just glad that you were out of the situation. We were glad that the eight of us were there together,” Jisung said softly. Jeongin teared up a bit then wiped his eyes. He didn’t want to cry in front of them now. He wanted to appear strong and act like he was okay. “Hyunjin wrote all the songs you suggested on a piece of paper and hung it on the fridge. He never said it either but he does love you,” Felix stated. “A lot,” Seungmin added. He felt the tears prick his eyes again and the three boys were making it harder to hold back. “We mean what we said. We do want you back at the cabin. We’ve already talked to Chan about it too. Minho and Changbin would be thrilled to have you back with us as well. We can have way more fun and make tons of memories.” Jisung was trying his best to convince the youngest. “I can’t,” Jeongin muttered. Jisung looked down sadly, trying to think of something else to persuade him. Jeongin’s head was spinning with thoughts of what it would be like if he actually went back with them. Could they make memories just as great as the ones he already had from before? Could anything ever beat stargazing with Hyunjin on a summer night? “We can’t make you go if you don’t want to. But, you know that you need us as much as we need you no matter how much you deny it,” Seungmin said. Jeongin could lie to himself and others and deny it but Seungmin was right. He did truly need them because they were the only ones he felt like himself around for a while. He didn’t have to hide anything from them when he lived at the cabin and it felt nice. He missed it but he didn’t think he could go back. “I’m sorry, guys. As much as I would like to go back I just don’t think it’s the best thing to do,” he mumbled. “Why don’t you think it’s for the best, Jeongin? You have the three of us asking for you to come back. We’ve been telling you that the others would love for that to happen. Hyunjin would especially love it. Why are you scared of seeing him again?” Felix hadn’t meant to sound so mean.

"Because it's been two years guys,” Jeongin finally snapped.  
"One year of not talking to any of you. It just wasn't going anywhere. That's why.." he sighed and looked down. "That's why I started writing the letters to Hyunjin. For one year and six months, that's what I've been doing. I wanted it to get better. My happiest moments are either here at the cafe, the shop, or when I'm writing. Sometimes that's where the saddest are too. For the longest time, I didn't even know if he was reading them." "Jeongin," the oldest boy mumbled. "But then I found out he was and I think that was the happiest I had been since leaving." He started tearing up again but didn’t try to hide it. "Nothing changed, guys. I'm still as scared as I was before about what he would think of me. I still worry about how he would react if I showed up there."  
"You don't have to be afraid, Jeongin. We're all here for you. Do you know how great it is to finally hear your voice? It's so comforting," Seungmin said, also starting to tear up.  
"You didn't see Hyunjin," Felix started.  
"You didn't see how he completely shut us out for weeks. He barely spoke to us before he started getting the letters from you. And yeah, he was still sad after that but he held onto the fact that you were still out here thinking about all of us, especially about him. You didn’t see him when he read that you wouldn’t be writing to him anymore. You didn't see how much he cried about just wanting to watch the stars with you again." Jeongin felt like the air around him was just one big tidal wave trying to drown him.

"You didn't hear him singing every word to all the songs you suggested he listen to. He finally started opening back up to us about three months ago and now he's shut us out again. He hasn’t come out of his room since Sunday and it’s Thursday. We're not trying to blame you, Jeongin. We love you and we love him. We hate to see how much this is hurting you two. Please just listen to us," Jisung said with melancholy in his voice. Jeongin didn't even notice that tears had slipped from his eyes until he tasted the salt on his lips. He finally gave in and let the emotions out. "I miss him."

All three boys were quick to get up and hug him. "I miss him so much," he sobbed. "So much."  
"We know," the brown-haired boy said as he stroked the younger's hair. Jeongin cried for a few minutes before pulling away and wiping his eyes. “I don’t deserve to see him again,” he let out a breathy laugh. “He would think that you do. Do you want to see him?” Jisung asked softly. Jeongin thought about it for a few seconds before nodding slightly. He wanted to see Hyunjin so badly. Why should his fear stop him from being happy? He’d gone far too long for his liking without seeing his friends. “We don’t know if we’ll have him back today. We may try to keep him,” Seungmin said jokingly to Mirabelle, who was now at the counter. She smiled at him, happy that Jeongin had been convinced. She hugged the younger boy. “Tell him how you feel. Don’t hold anything back,” she whispered. “Okay,” he managed to whisper back to her.


	59. Chapter 59

The ride to the cabin had been excruciatingly longer than Jeongin remembered. The whole time he fiddled with his sleeves and kept his eyes on his lap. The other boys took notice of it and tried to calm him down. “Has he changed anyway?” Felix was the first to answer, “he’s still the same dork who rolled off that mattress Chan bought when we shared a room.” Jeongin laughed a little at the memory of Hyunjin falling off the bed several times. “He’s also the same dork who sucked at capture the flag,” Seungmin sighed. “He’s still salty about Hyunjin getting him out that one time,” Jisung chuckled. Jeongin giggled a little more at that. “Not to freak you out or anything but we’re about three minutes away from the cabin,” Felix stated. “Are you okay?” Jeongin nodded. He was thinking over all the possibilities of what could happen but was snapped out of his thought process by a door opening. “Are you going to just stay in the car or are you actually going to get out?” Seungmin questioned. Jeongin quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. 

The cabin looked the same as it did before besides a few small things that had been added like a big metal sign that spelled out the word ‘ohana’. It was something that Chan had loved to say when he lived there. Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. It made him a little sad to see. He turned towards the three boys who were staring at him. “What?” Jeongin asked. They quickly looked away and started doing other things. “Why did you text me to come out here? I was asleep like two minutes prior,” a boy said from the doorway of the cabin looking at Felix. They smiled nervously at him and gestured towards the youngest boy. Minho’s eyes automatically widened and he almost tripped down the stairs trying to run to Jeongin. “Oh my gosh, it’s been so long. How are you doing? I hope you’re okay. We missed you so much,” the older boy said. “Minho, he probably can’t breathe,” Jisung stated. The boy immediately let go of the youngest. “Sorry, I’m just really glad to see you.” Before Jeongin had the chance to reply another boy came outside. “I heard Minho talking. What’s going on? He’s usually not up at this time.” “Look who Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin brought back with them,” Minho said. Changbin almost choked when he saw it was Jeongin. “I’ll get Chan,” the boy said, still trying to process that Jeongin was really there. “Actually, I’ll go get him.” “That’s okay, Seungmin. I can get him.” Seungmin wouldn’t take no for an answer though. “I will go get him. You stay here and talk to Jeongin, weirdo.” 

The red-haired boy walked over to Changbin and smiled at him. That’s all it took for Changbin to snap out of it and hug Jeongin. “It’s so good to see you again. It’s actually great. I’m going to assume that you’re here to see Hyunjin.” Jeongin nodded. “He is. Hyunjin doesn’t know though so don’t spoil it.”

“He doesn’t know?” Jeongin asked, thinking that they had told the boy. “Sorry that we didn’t tell you but you can’t exactly blame us. We didn’t want to tell him that he’d get to see you again and then you don’t even show up. That would just disappoint him even further.” Felix was actually right about that and Jeongin found himself smiling about how much the three boys cared about Hyunjin. “Why are you smiling like that?” Minho asked. “I was just thinking about how Seungmin, Jisung, and Felix care about Hyunjin so much that they’d go out of their way to bring me back to make him happy.” Jisung and Felix couldn’t help but coo at Jeongin. “You’re so cute.” “Shut up guys I will literally smash your fingers.” “Alright then. I don’t know about you, Jisung, but I’d like to keep my fingers in perfect working shape,” Felix said.

“Jeongin,” Chan said. Jeongin ran up the stairs and practically tackled him. “Why didn’t he react like that to us?” “Because Chan is basically his dad.” Minho stared at Felix for a few seconds. “What? It’s true.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Innie. I’m glad you changed your mind. I’m going to wake Hyunjin up and bring him out here, okay? I can’t imagine how much you miss each other.” “Thank you, Channie.” The blonde ruffled his hair and went back inside. “We should stand in front of Jeongin to make it more of a surprise,” Changbin suggested. “Jeongin’s taller than you,” Seungmin retorted. “Can it not be ‘bully Changbin day’?” Seungmin shook his head. “It’s a good idea though. Let’s line up,” Minho said. 

To say Jeongin was nervous would be an understatement. When he saw Chan walking back out the door he shut his eyes. “Okay, Hyunjin. Don’t open your eyes. I’ll lead you down the steps, okay?” “Channie, why do you guys have a surprise for me at nine in the morning?” Hyunjin asked. Jeongins breath hitched at the sound of the elders' voices. “Does there have to be a specific time for a surprise?” “No, but you woke me up for this which is weird. It’s not my birthday or anything so what is this for?” Chan didn’t answer him and instead, led him to where the other boys stood in front of Jeongin. He told Hyunjin to open his eyes and the boy only stared at them in confusion. "Why are you all standing like that? Reminds me of that time Felix and Jisung broke the coffee machine and wouldn't move away from it so that Chan wouldn't see." The boys all moved away from the youngest behind them. 

They locked eyes and at that moment it seemed like nothing else mattered. They forget about the other boys who were mere feet away and only focused on each other. The raven-haired boy almost instantly wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist. The joy they felt was ineffable. “Jeongin,” the taller boy muttered. “I missed you so much.” “I missed you too,” Jeongin whispered. They stayed like that for a few minutes until a few tears slipped out of Hyunjin’s eyes and landed on Jeongins shoulder. “I thought I’d never see you here again, Innie.”

Hyunjins words hurt Jeongins heart and he started to tear up. “Innie, you should’ve talked to me. We could've figured it out together.” “I’m sorry, Jinnie.” Hyunjin squeezed him a little tighter before letting go and looking at his face. “I love you, Jeongin. No matter what.” The smaller boy stared into his eyes and only found love in them. He could simply get lost in the chocolate brown orbs that stared right back at him. “Did he just confess to Jeongin?” Felix screeched. “Yes, idiot.”

“The ship is sailing!” “Shut up, Jisung,” Seungmin said. “Hey, don’t tell my boyfriend to shut up.” Minho intervened. “Whatever, Mango,” Seungmin retorted. “Jisung, keep screaming,” Minho said. “You absolute-” “And that is where you are ending that sentence, Seungmin. But, yeah, go Hyunin or whatever Felix and Jisung are always screaming about.” Chan said. “Hey, we don’t always scream about Hyunin,” Felix states. “Yeah, sometimes we scream about Seungchan as well,” Jisung adds. “And now I’m leaving,” Seungmin announces. 

Jeongin and Hyunjin laugh at the other boys. “I liked you when I first saw you. Getting to know you better just made me fall more. I was heartbroken when you left. So, I meant it, Jeongin. It took me a while to call it love but I know for sure that it is,” the older boy said as he held Jeongins hands. “I love you too, Jinnie.” 

“Just kiss already. This is gross,” Changbin fake gagged. “It’s cute. You act as if you didn’t pine after Felix for a year and a half only to wait and kiss him under the mistletoe for the first time because you thought that would be perfect,” Seungmin commented with a playful smile. Felix blushed as Jisung started to snort. “He got you there, buddy,” Changbin muttered a few words under his breath. “Let's go back inside. I’ll make breakfast and we can catch Innie up on things and he can do the same for us,” Chan suggested. They all went to the living room which was on the main level, directly when you walked in the front door. The place really hadn’t changed much since Jeongin had left. It wasn’t long before Chan had finished breakfast and they were all sharing stories. They had even managed to convince Jeongin to stay overnight. 

“As fun as it’s been, guys, I’m tired. It’s midnight and I need my beauty sleep,” Changbin said. “I don’t see any beauty,” Seungmin retorted. “I will set you on fire, Minnie.” 

“Jeongin, you can sleep in the room with Hyunjin. I’ll room with Felix for the night since him and Jisung have the bunk bed,” Seungmin offered. “Are you sure, Minnie? I don’t want to kick you out of your own room,” Jeongin said. The older boy smiled at him, “it’s fine, Innie. Sleep well.” 

Soon, the boys had bid each other good night and separated into their own rooms. “Jinnie,” Jeongin mumbled. Hyunjin hummed for him to continue. “I’m really sorry for causing you any pain.” The black-haired boy shifted on the bed to look at the redhead. “Any pain is worth it if I get to hold you in my arms.” The smaller boy's heart fluttered in his chest but he frowned a little after thinking about how long they both had to endure the pain just to be where they are now. “Let’s sleep, yeah? We can talk in the morning,” Hyunjin suggested. Jeongin nodded in response and turned to stare at the ceiling.

Maybe it had been ten minutes. Maybe an hour. Maybe it had even been five hours when Jeongin jolted awake. He had no idea what time it was as he had left his phone in the living room. He laid there for a few minutes trying to go back to sleep but his thoughts got the best of him. With a sigh, he sat up and quietly tried to get off the bed without waking the sleeping boy next to him. When he finally accomplished that, he walked over to the balcony door and opened it. It was still dark out so he knew it had to be the middle of the night. After sitting out there for a few minutes, he decided it wasn’t enough. He silently entered the room and closed the door. He tiptoed his way out into the hallway and prayed that he didn’t wake Minho and Changbin, who were in the room next to theirs. He made it down the stairs and out the front door then released the breath he was holding.

Jeongin looked around and reminisced about when he first came to live there. He started walking into the woods beside the cabin, where he used to venture into with Hyunjin. He ended up in the clearing that he had once loved and sat down. In the moonlight, he could see flowers blooming in certain spots. To the 19-year-old boy, he called four places ‘home’. The cafe, the flower shop, the cabin, and the very clearing he was sitting in the middle of now. They’re where he had the best memories. Memories he hoped he would never forget. To keep with him no matter where he went or how old he got. 

He listened to the sound of crickets chirping and the rustling of leaves. He got lost up in how peaceful it was out there until he heard footsteps approaching and someone sitting down on the grass beside him. “You can see the summer triangle tonight.” “What is it?”

“It’s an asterism. It consists of Vega, Altair, and Deneb. Each of the stars make up a constellation. Deneb in Cygnus the swan, Vega in Lyra the harp, and Altair in Aquila the eagle. Vega and Aquila were actually seen as lovers.”

Jeongin slightly smiled, “Is there anything else about those two?”

“Vega was a weaver princess and Altair was a herdsman. The tale has different versions of what happened. Depending on the version, Vegas’ father, her mother, or the Sky God separate them after they fall in love with each other. They were both placed in the sky and could see each other but were separated by a river symbolizing the milky way. They were taken pity on and were allowed to cross the river one day every year if they worked hard. Once a year, a flock of birds would create a bridge so that they could meet each other. It’s said in Japan that when Altair’s trip is too difficult and he doesn’t make it, Vega’s tears form raindrops.”

“That’s really interesting but it’s kind of sad.” “It is. It’s also linked to Greek mythology. Aquila was the eagle that carried Zeus’s thunderbolts. Some believe that Aquila is Aphrodite disguised as an eagle to pretend to pursue Cygnus, which was actually Zeus. She did it so that Zeus’s love interest, Nemesis, would give him refuge. It’s said that Zeus placed the Swan and Eagle in the sky to serve as a commemoration of this.”

It was silent for a minute. As if Jeongin was trying to take everything in. “Did I wake you up when I got out of bed?”

Hyunjin smiled at him, “no, don’t worry.”

“Did you learn more about stars while I was gone or something?” Hyunjin chuckled a little, “Whenever you would tell me the things you learned in those books about stars at the library I would listen so attentively because you sounded so passionate talking about it.” 

“Before you even moved here I liked to stargaze but then after meeting you it was so much better. Three or four months after you left I decided to learn more about them. Chan likes astronomy too so we’d sometimes talk about it together but it was never the same as hearing you go on and on about how massive stars actually have a shorter lifespan than smaller stars.”

“One of my favorite quotes is ‘yours is the light by which my spirit’s born - you are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars’ by E.E Cummings,” Hyunjin said while looking at the younger boy.

Jeongin scooted a little closer to Hyunjin and leaned his head on his shoulder. “Are you going to stay?” Hyunjin quietly asked. “What about my jobs and my apartment?”

“We can work that out if you want to stay.”

“I want to.”

“Good cause I didn’t want to lose you again. We should head back to the cabin. It was 5:01 when I came out here,” Hyunjin said, standing up. “I didn’t even know what time it was when I woke up,” Jeongin laughed a little.

They walked back to the cabin and quietly made their way up the stairs. Hyunjin pulled Jeongin into his arms when they laid down because, apparently, “keeping him close sounded like a good plan.”

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall into a deep sleep with their legs tangled together under the white sheets. Chests pressed together and breath faintly mixing.

Just like how it used to be.


	60. Chapter 60

“Whoever ate my pancake is about to get castrated,” Minho said as he looked at his empty plate. Jisung immediately jumped up from the couch and ran. “Oh, it was my baby. Nevermind then.”

“You would have literally buried us in the yard for even looking at your food but that fool gets off freely after eating it?” Seungmin asked. “Just admit you’re whipped and go,” Felix sighed. “Just admit you’re all jealous and go,” Minho retorted. “Bitch, I have a boyfriend. Why would I be jealous of you?” Felix yelled. “Maybe Seungmin is jealous because he can’t get-”

Felix didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence because Seungmin had already tackled him. “Take it back, you nasty egg.” “Why must I take back the truth? Are you going to tell me I’m wrong when I say that you’re too much of a coward to tell c- OW BITCH WHAT DID MY HAIR DO TO YOU?” Felix screeched. “Maybe if you shut up you wouldn’t be going bald.” “Maybe if you stopped yanking my hair out I wouldn’t be.” “Well, maybe if you stopped trying to expose me then I wouldn’t have a reason to pull your hair out.” “Maybe if you weren’t such a coward then.” 

“I’ll get you and it’ll look like a bloody accident.” Felix squinted his eyes at him, “did you just quote cat in the hat?” “Maybe.”

“What is going on here?” Chan asked as he walked into the room. “Oh, hey Chan! We were just talking about you,” Felix said, smiling even though Seungmin was still on top of him. “Seungmin, are you trying to kill him?” 

“If I said yes, how much trouble would I be in?” “But, why are you trying to?” “Because he’s a gremlin.”

“Why can’t I be Gizmo? He was cute,” Felix pouted. “I am concerned with what’s happening right now,” Jeongin announced. “Alright, boys. Break it up. I want my baby,” Changbin said. “There’s my boyfriend,” Felix grinned.

“You guys are so annoying. I hate it here,” Minho mumbled. “I’m here though,” Jisung said. Minho sighed softly, “I love it here.”

“Guys, we need to go to town today to get some stuff done. Be ready in an hour.” With that said, Chan walked out of the room. 

“Jinnie, I have the evening shift at the shop today,” Jeongin informed him. “Can I stay with you there? I just want to spend time with you,” Hyunjin pouted. The younger giggled a little and couldn’t resist telling him yes. He had been the happiest in the past two weeks since he moved back into the cabin than he’d been in the past year and he just wanted it to last forever.

-  
-  
-

So, there they were. In the mall. The worst place for all eight of them to be.

“Chan, can you tell Jisung to stop trying to talk to the mannequins?” Changbin asked as he gave the mentioned boy a weird look. “Jisung, they aren’t alive. Stop.”

“I recommend that we get ice cream and cookies,” Felix said. “Of course you would,” Hyunjin said.

“Guys, is it just me or is that guy over there staring at me?” Jisung asked. “He probably saw you having a conversation with the mannequin and was trying to decide if he should call security,” Seungmin said.

They continued to walk in and out of the stores for a few hours without getting too many weird looks from people passing them. They got even more when they started playing on the kiddie rides.

“Guys, is that BamBam from Got7?” Jeongin asked. “What?” “shh, I’m looking.” Minho gave a confused look as he turned to Changbin. “Oh my gosh, guys, it really looks like BamBam. What do we do?” “Calm down, Innie,” Chan chuckled. Jeongin didn’t listen to him. He was more invested in the fact that an idol was within walking distance from him. “Guys, he’s coming closer,” he whisper-yelled. 

“Hey, Chan. I didn’t know you guys would be here today,” BamBam said. “Yeah, we had to get some things so we just came to the mall too,” Chan responded. “Who’s he?” BamBam asked, pointing at the youngest boy. “Oh, this is Jeongin. Remember how we told you about a boy who lived with us before for a while but then he left? Yeah, this is him. He’s been living with us for two weeks now.” 

“Oh, I remember. It’s nice to meet you, Jeongin. These boys have said so many good things about you.”

“BamBam just said it’s nice to meet me,” Jeongin mumbled. “I think he’s malfunctioning,” Hyunjin said. They all stared at Jeongin until he finally spoke. “Sorry, it’s just hard to take in the fact that you guys know each other. Does that mean you guys know the other members of Got7 too? Wait, what about Day6? Do you guys know Twice? Also, it’s really nice to meet you too,” Jeongin quietly said. The other boys laughed. “We’re friends with a lot of idols because of Channie,” Felix said. The red-head couldn’t wrap his mind around that and just stood there like a sim. “Um, I think I should go so that he can recuperate,” BamBam said. “Yeah. It was nice seeing you again though.” “The same to you guys.”

“We should head home now.”

“I am totally fine,” Jeongin said. “You’ve literally been repeating ‘I just met BamBam’ for the past three minutes. You aren’t fine,” Seungmin stated. "Why is BamBam even in a random mall?" Jeongin questioned but got no answer.

When the eight boys got home they decided to watch movies for the rest of the day. They had watched four and ate dinner as well before Changbin pulled Chan out of the room, mumbling how he had to talk about something extremely important. The other boys didn’t pay much attention to it until Chan came in grinning like the Cheshire cat. “What’s up with your face?” Minho asked and Felix rolled onto the floor laughing. “Did I say something funny or something?” Minho asked, confused. “Felix is just easy to make laugh,” Jisung said. “Really though. What’s up with your face?” “Can a guy not smile?” Chan questioned. “That was not called smiling. That was called being creepy,” Minho replied. “Stop bullying Chan verbally. Your existence is enough to do the trick,” Seungmin said. "Damn, Minnie. That shit hurted,” Minho feigned indignation. Seungmin rolled his eyes in return. 

“I think I’m about to go to bed,” Jeongin said. “Goodnight, Innie.” “Goodnight.”

“I think I’ll go too. I don’t want to wake you up by going later,” Hyunjin said. “Jinnie, if you want to stay down here then you can.” “No, I’m kind of tired too.”

Jeongin shrugged and walked up the stairs with the taller boy trailing behind him.

“Minho, can I talk to you privately?” Chan asked. Minho got up and followed him out of the room. “Seungmin, come with me,” Changbin said. The boy stood up and turned to only two boys left in the room, “if he kills me just make sure you summon me as a ghost to where I can haunt him.” “I’m not about to kill you.”

Felix and Jisung looked at each other. “What do you think Chan and Changbin are talking to them about?” “No idea. But, have you seen the way Chan has been looking at Seungmin lately? Tell me he’s not in love.” “They clearly both are.”

Minho and Changbin were the next to go to bed. Then, Felix and Jisung after Seungmin convinced them to just go to bed without him and that he’d be in there soon. The boy walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and didn’t realize that Chan hadn’t gone to his room yet. “I’m sorry about the things that Felix and Jisung say about us.” Seungmin jumped a little, “you scared me, Chan. Why are you sorry?” 

Chan shrugged and walked closer over to the counter to lean on it. “Well, they talk about how we should date and stuff but you may not even feel like that.” “Then, I’m sorry too. You may not feel that way either” “Don’t be.” “Why?”

Chan smiled at him. “Because, I like you.” Seungmin choked on the water and began coughing violently. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Why would you just say that?”

“That I like you? Why not? I’m kind of tired of trying to hide it. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I understand. I just-” “No!” Seungmin yelled. “I mean, I do feel the same way.”

The older boy smiled wider and walked over to the other. “I’m glad. I might have been awkward for a while if you didn’t.” Seungmin let out a light chuckle. The blonde leaned over and kissed the younger's forehead, “goodnight Minnie.” He left the blushing Seungmin standing in the middle of the kitchen and walked to his room. Neither had realized that Hyunjin and Jeongin were standing at the bottom of the stairs almost the entire time since the lights were off. After watching the scene, they snuck out of the house to go back into the clearing to, once again, stargaze. 

Maybe the stars could hold the memories they made out there forever.


	61. Chapter 61

2022\. 10. 08

“Where does this even go?” Jisung asked while awkwardly holding a flower vase.

“Over on the table where the other one is.”

He looked to the table and saw that there was, indeed, another one. “Oh.”

There was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Seungmin yelled. “Relax. It’s Minho and not the groom. Can you let me in?”

“How do we know you don’t have anyone else with you?” “I guess you’ll have to open the door to find out.”

Jeongin opened the door just enough to see if it really was only Minho and then let him pass through. “What are the others doing?” 

“Well, Changbin sounds like he might have a breakdown, Chan is trying to get his dad to answer the phone, and Hyunjin is setting up the chairs.” The oldest in the room said. “Where’s Felix?”

“He’s somewhere.” Minho stared at him, “do you not know where he is?” “No clue, actually. He’s in the house though. Chan can’t get his dad to answer?”

“No. He thinks they might be on the way over here. Are Mirabelle and the others going to be here soon?”

“Yes. I just talked to her. She said the rest of them will be here probably an hour and a half after her and Beomgyu since they're coming early to help.” “Okay, great. I’m going to head back to Changbin now. Try to keep Felix calm as well. I’m sure he isn’t.” 

“I’ll try if I can ever find him. We’ll see you later,” Jeongin said as he walked Minho out of the room. 

“Where is that gnome at?” Seungmin asked. “I don’t know. He has to be somewhere on the first or second level unless he somehow slipped by me to go up the stairs,” Jeongin replied. “Well, we have an hour to finish everything before we have to get him and ourselves ready.” “I’ll go look for him again.” 

After a few minutes of searching, he finally found the older boy sitting on the balcony of the room he used to share with Hyunjin. Once Chan and Seungmin had officially gotten together they changed the room arrangements again. They took out the bunk bed and put in a king-size bed which then became Seungmin’s and Chan’s room. Chan’s old room became Minho’s and Jisung’s. Changbin’s and Minho’s old room now belonged to Hyunjin and Jeongin. The room they had then went to Felix and Changbin. 

“I used to sit here on some nights with Hyunjin,” the now pink-haired boy stated as he stepped out onto the balcony. “I never thought that Changbin and I would ever get this far. It’s almost been four years and I don’t see how he puts up with me. Of course, I always hoped that we would get married one day and maybe even start a family. This all seems kind of unreal though,” Felix said. “I love Changbin and I never want to lose him. I remember the day I came here and met him just like it was yesterday. I never thought he liked me though. Until he asked me to be his boyfriend, that is.”

“I think you two are a good couple. You both practically radiate the love you have for each other.”

Felix lightly chuckled and looked at Jeongin, “I’m really glad you came back last year.” “I am too.”

“We should probably get back in there. Seungmin is worried about getting ready on time.”

The two boys walked into the living room to see Hyunjin talking to Seungmin. When the raven-haired boy saw Jeongin, he immediately stopped talking. “Hey, baby,” he said as he walked over to hug the younger. “Hey,” Jeongin replied. “I see you found Lix,” Seungmin said. “I did.”

“Guys, there’s someone at the door but I can’t tell who,” Jisung announced. The youngest quickly went to the door and opened it to reveal a long brown-haired girl. “Jeongin,” She yelled. “It’s just Mirabelle,” the boy wheezed while getting squeezed to death. “You just saw him last week,” Hyunjin said. “Don’t act like you don’t do the same thing,” she mumbled. 

The three boys made Hyunjin leave so that they could get everything out of Mirabelle’s car to get ready. She had picked up the tuxes for the three males on the way over at the same time she picked up her dress. She lectured the boys about how to bring in her kits to fix their hair and threatened to cut it all off if they broke something which they didn’t want to happen. 

Eventually, all the guests started showing up and all the boys were close to being completely ready.

“Guys, it’s starting in five minutes. I’m going to get a seat out there. Good luck to all four of you. Don’t fall or anything like that. Also, Felix, throw that bouquet to me. Your girl wants a relationship,” Mirabelle said and walked out of the house. “Chan’s dad will be in here in a minute to walk you down. Are you nervous?” Jisung asked. “A little but this is what I want,” Felix smiled. “Let’s do this.”


	62. in perpetuum et unum diem

The sound of an instrumental version of ‘Love Story’ could be heard playing from inside the house. The first to walk out was Changbin with Chan’s mom. His parents were the only ones who cared about the boys as if they were their own children. They felt that they deserved so much more in the world than what each of the boys' parents ever gave them. So, when Changbin asked if they would fill in, even though it wasn’t necessary, they were honored and agreed.

The second was Minho and Jisung, then Hyunjin and Jeongin, and lastly, Chan and Seungmin. When Felix finally walked out with Chan’s dad, Changbin felt like he could have cried at how beautiful the love of his life was. How could he be this ethereal? 

“Welcome, everyone,” The officiant started. “We are gathered here today, surrounded by the beauty of creation and nurtured by the sights and sounds of nature to celebrate the wedding of Seo Changbin and Lee Felix. You have come here from near and far away to share in this pledge they make to each other, to offer your love and support to their union, and to allow them to start their life together surrounded by the dearest and most important people to them. They ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their marriage and life together.”

“Changbin’s and Felix’s marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, who trust that love, who honor one another, and who wish to spend the rest of their lives together. It allows the two separate souls to share their desires, longings, dreams, and memories, their joys and sorrows, and to help each other through all uncertainties of life. A healthy marriage allows you to maintain your unique identity, while also allowing you to evolve in the years to come. For each person, it should be a safe haven, a place to better yourself and to not only add the love of another soul to your life, but to share your love with someone else's life. A relationship like this requires immense love, but also companionship and the sacred blessing of trust. To sustain this relationship, you will need more than just passion, but the trust to realize in your heart that you only want what is best for one another. This takes long strides of commitment, to remain open and honest to one another, to learn and develop with each other as time passes. And even when the days seem dim and grey, it is the courage to move forward- unaware of what the future holds, but willing to face it by the side of your love that keeps you both together.”

“Changbin and Felix, please join hands, look at one another now, and remember this moment. Changbin, do you take Felix to be your husband?” “I do,” Changbin said.

“Felix, do you take Changbin to be your husband?” “ I do.”

“Changbin, please repeat after me.”  
“I, Seo Changbin, take you, Lee Felix, to be my wedded husband.”   
“Today I promise you”  
“that though the world may change”  
“and though we may change with it”  
“I will always love and treasure you”  
“and will share with you all that I am.”  
“I am proud, from this day forward”  
“to be called your husband.”

“Felix, please repeat after me.”  
“I, Lee Felix, take you, Seo Changbin, to be my wedded husband.”   
“Today I promise you”  
“that though the world may change”  
“and though we may change with it”  
“I will always love and treasure you”  
“and will share with you all that I am.”  
“I am proud, from this day forward”  
“to be called your husband.”

“I understand you both have written your vows. Please share them.”

"Felix, I trust in you, the man you will become and the couple we are going to be together. I love your kind heart and ability to understand me like no one else can. You are kind and caring, and one smile from you brightens my whole day. You make me happier than I could ever imagine and feel more loved than I ever thought possible. I take you as my husband with all my heart, knowing and respecting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I vow to be faithful and compassionate and to make it my priority for our love and happiness to be true. I will dream with you, rejoice with you, and walk with you through everything our lives could offer. You have taught me what it means to love and guided me through this journey called life. We have had our disagreements but we always come out of it stronger than before. You are my sunshine — my love and my life, today and forever. Nothing could ever take that away.”

“Changbin, you are my best friend, my soulmate, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. You know me better than anyone else in this world and you still stay here. I will stay with you until my last breath. Words are not enough to say how much you mean to me. I promise to care for you. I will try to always be worthy of your love and to be a loyal friend to you. I will always be honest with you, kind, and patient. I promise myself to you in the same way that I promise to always be true. I will stay with you through thick and thin. I promise to grow with you to see how we thrive together in life. To have everything I need is to have you and I could not ask for more.”

“Please present the rings. Your wedding ring is a symbol of your promise to one another. It neither has a start or an end. The never-ending, unbroken circle represents devotion, unending commitment. Changbin, as you place this ring on Felix’s finger, please repeat after me.”  
“This ring symbolizes my love for you”  
“And the commitments we made today.”

“Felix, as you place this ring on Changbin’s finger, please repeat after me.”

“This ring symbolizes my love for you”  
“And the commitments we made today.”

“Changbin and Felix, you have come here today of your own free will and have proclaimed your love and adoration to each other in the presence of family and friends. As a sign of your promises, you have given and received a ring. I now pronounce you, husband and husband, by the strength of your love and loyalty to each other, and by the power vested in me. You may seal your marriage with a kiss now.”

Changbin immediately pulled Felix towards him and kissed him like he was afraid he would never be able to again.

“Congratulations. Everyone, I now present to you the newly married couple.”

The two males held hands and walked back down the aisle as everyone was clapping. 

“That was so beautiful,” Jisung sobbed. “Jisung, are you okay?” Jeongin questioned. “No!” The older boy yelled and covered his face so that no one else would see how he was crying. “Did you guys see Changbin trying not to cry but then failing when Felix said that he was all he needed?” Hyunjin asked. “Along with Felix tearing up as soon as Changbin said I do,” Chan said.

To say the two boys were happy would be a complete understatement. They were more than ecstatic. The older boy picked Felix up and spun him around before setting him back down and kissing him again. “I love you so much,” he whispered. “I love you too,” the blonde whispered back while leaning his forehead on Changbin’s.

“Let’s get this party started, homies,” Chenle said. “First of all, never say that again,” Jaemin remarked. “Second of all, I’m hungry.” Felix laughed at the two and announced to everyone where the food was so that they could go ahead and eat. 

Changbin pulled Hyunjin away while the other boys were talking to Felix. “You look amazing, Lix,” Chan said. “Yeah, you look beautiful,” Minho agreed. “Thank you. I’m really happy that you guys are my framily.” Felix stated. “What the fuck is a framily?” Minho asked. “Friends who are more like family. That’s what I see you guys as,” the younger boy responded. Jisung cooed while slowly bringing Felix into a very tight hug, “you’re my favorite.” “Excuse me? I’m right here,” Minho commented. “I can have two favorites,” Jisung said. “Let’s get to the reception, honey,” Changbin said as he placed his arm around Felix’s waist after returning from talking with Hyunjin. They had decided to set everything up under a pole tent outside. They had even put a dance floor in the center of it. When everyone was done eating, they just stood around talking for a few minutes until Mirabelle called out to Felix.

“Felix, bring your man up here. We’re about to play the song for your first dance,” she yelled. He quickly grabbed Changbin’s hand and guided him to the center of the stage. He put his hands on Changbin's shoulders as the older boy wrapped his around to place his hands on the middle of Felix’s back.

“One look at you  
My whole life falls in line  
I prayed for you  
Before I called you mine  
Oh, I can’t believe it’s true sometimes  
Oh, I can’t believe it’s true”

“I get to love you  
It’s the best thing that I’ll ever do  
I get to love you  
It’s a promise I’m making to you  
Whatever may come; your heart I will choose  
Forever I’m yours, forever I do  
I get to love you  
I get to love you”

Changbin pulled the younger boy closer and placed a quick kiss on Felix’s lips. They stared into each other's eyes and smiled. “I can’t believe I get to marry you,” Changbin said. Felix giggled, “I can’t believe it either. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you, Binnie.” “I’m ready to spend mine with you too, Lix. I just want to shout that I’m the one who is lucky enough to get to do that.” “You’re the most amazing person I have ever met,” Felix stated. “Well, I could say the same to you.”

They shared another kiss and Felix placed his forehead against Changbin’s. They swayed to the music and practically forgot everyone else there. 

“And they say love is a journey, I promise that I’ll never leave. When it’s too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me,” the blonde whispered with the song. When the song was over, Changbin leaned in to kiss Felix’s cheek and whispered “I’ll love you no matter what.”


	63. ma joie

When it was time for the speeches, Felix was the first to speak instead of Chan. “Is this thing on? Is it on? Uh, hi,” he laughed. “I know Chan should be the first to speak but I’m going to do it instead. I want to thank everyone for coming today. A big thank you to everyone who helped with all of this. Thank you to those who helped to make us look our best because, let's be honest, my hair would have looked like a rats nest if it wasn’t for Mirabelle and Jeongin. Thank you to Chan’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bang, for loving us like your own and for walking with both of us down the aisle. You two do so much for the eight of us and we really appreciate it. Thank you to Chan for helping us out all those years ago and bringing us here. Without you, Changbin and I probably would have never met. Thank you to Jisung for listening to my rants about how perfect Changbin is.” “You got it, bro!” jisung yelled, causing Felix to laugh again. “Thank you, Seungmin, for making life a little more fun and for not killing me. Minho and Hyunjin, thank you for taking care of me even when I’m annoying and you’d rather go on a hike than listen to me talk. Jeongin, thank you for being so sweet and always being such a great friend. And last but definitely not least, Changbin. Thank you for just being here for me. I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and I never want to be with anyone else besides you. I’m so glad that we met.”

“Move, lover boy. I’m trying to say some things,” Minho demanded. “Alright, Changbin. Don’t let Felix go. He’s the sweetest and sometimes I just want to put him in my pocket. It’s obvious he’s completely in love with you and you’re no better at keeping it subtle either. It’s like you two walk around with permanent heart eyes for each other. In my opinion, I don’t think you could find anyone who would be better for you than Felix is. He cares so much about you and if you ever hurt him then you better hide cause you’ll have six boys trying to kill you. That’s my speech. Seungmin, you can go.”

“So, I agree with Minho. There’s really nothing that Felix wouldn’t do for you. He’s so whipped. But, this isn’t directed towards you, it’s towards Felix. Everyone is telling Changbin not to let go of you but you better not let go of him either. Honestly, I’d be really shocked if anything ever happened between you two because you love him so much. Listen, everyone, this boy would cry in our room whenever Changbin would do almost anything because he thought he was the cutest person on the planet. He was whipped before they even started dating but I can’t say much because I was almost the same way. Moving on, Jisung, you can come up here.”

“Felix is my best friend and Changbin is my best buddy so-” he paused. “Please just don’t hurt each other. Congratulations on finally getting married. I can’t wait till you guys argue about what kind of animal to add to the family. I’ll definitely be here for that. I love you both and I’m so happy for you two. This is way out of order, isn’t it? Chan, come on man.”

“So, maybe living with you two had its ups and downs. Mostly ups but we did have those moments where Felix would come into my room crying because you were oblivious to his feelings and he thought you would never like him. I wanted to slap you both sometimes. You two are such a good couple now though. Please take care of each other.” He paused to try to stop himself from tearing up but failed. “Seeing you both standing with each other today really made me realize that you have both grown so much. Changbin, you would hardly talk before Felix showed up and Felix, you would really only have such a genuine smile when Changbin was in the room. Now, Changbin talks a lot, and Felix smiles practically all the time. I’m just really proud of who you guys have become.” Both boys thanked the older. 

“Jeongin, Hyunjin, do either of you want to say something?” chan asked. “I wanted to but if I do I might full-on sob,” Jeongin mumbled. “I’ll do the talking for him,” Hyunjin said.  
“Like Channie said, you two have come so far from where you were. I remember when you both arrived here. I tried to get Changbin to talk to me but he’d only ever nod or shake his head. Even when Seungmin moved in, Binnie still wouldn’t say anything unless it was to Chan. The first time I ever heard him speak was in the living room two nights after Felix moved in. I went to get a drink but I heard Chan ask Changbin what he thought of Felix and he said that he was adorable. Actually, his words were ‘he’s adorable. Kind of like a kitten’. I thought that was kind of cute. Watching you two get together was more motivating than Chan’s old speech of why we should have gotten jobs,” he let out a chuckle and continued. “Innie wanted to say that he hopes you two can laugh and smile with each other even through hard times. And that you two will always be best friends instead of just a married couple. We wish you two the best and we love you both.” 

“Thank you to all of you guys,” Felix said. “Yes, thank you,” Changbin nodded. They continued the reception like normal. Well, as normal as it could get. That was until Jisung wiped some icing all over Felix’s face. Changbin watched his husband try to smash his friend’s head into a slice of cake. “Are we going to do anything about this?” Minho asked Changbin. “Nope,” he answered. The older boy hummed in response and continued watching the scene in front of them. Eventually, Felix gave up and let Jisung go. “I’ve got this,” Seungmin said as he walked up to Jisung and shoved his face into his plate. “I do what Felix can’t.” “Minnie, you suck,” Jisung whined. 

When everyone started to leave, Hyunjin was pulled away again. This time by Felix. “Where do you and Felix take Hyunjin?” Minho asked. “I feel like you two are planning to kill him or something.” “Don’t worry about it,” Changbin said. After a few minutes, the two boys came back and suggested that they start cleaning up since there were only a few people left who were getting ready to say their goodbyes. Mirabelle, Blaine, and Beomgyu insisted on staying to help them. Well... Mirabelle and Beomgyu did. Blaine didn’t have a choice since the person who had brought him already left. By the time they were done putting everything away and taking the tent down it was already 7:05 pm. 

Mirabelle pulled Felix into a bone-crushing hug and congratulated him once again. “My baby is growing up,” she fake cried. “Can I have my husband back?” “No.” Changbin pouted at Mirabelle’s response. “Aw. My baby is upset that she won’t let me go,” Felix said playfully. “You can have him,” Changbin declared and started walking away. “No, wait,” Felix yelled as he struggled to get out of the brown-haired girl’s grasp. “I’ve been betrayed by my baby,” she mumbled. “Don’t worry. If Felix had to pick between eating with us or spending time with Changbin then he would starve,” Jisung said. “He’s just clingy towards Changbin,” Chan remarked. “I can’t tell if I think they're cute or if I want to throw up because of them,” Seungmin commented. Blaine and Beomgyu laughed while Mirabelle still faked the hurt of the betrayal.

When the three left, the other eight went inside to finish packing suitcases for the newly-wed couple to go on their honeymoon. Once they were done they sat around eating snacks for a while until one by one they all started leaving the room. “I’ll be back,” Hyunjin said. “Me too,” Seungmin said. Finally, Felix and Jeongin were the only ones left. They sat and talked for a few minutes until the blonde-haired boy asked Jeongin if he wanted to go out into the clearing. The younger boy agreed reluctantly and followed Felix out the door and into the woods.


	64. mon avenir

As the two boys got closer to the clearing Jeongin could see fairy lights hanging from the tree branches. “What is this?” He asked but got no answer from Felix. There were four figures that he couldn’t make out until one of them spoke. “Innie, come here.” He recognized that the voice belonged to Minho. He tried to make his way to the other boy in the dim lighting. When he finally got to him he could tell the others were Jisung, Seungmin, and Changbin since it was brighter where they stood. “Where’s Chan and Hyunjin?” 

“They’ll be out here in a minute,” Minho whispered. “Why are the fairy lights out here?”

“Well, we thought it would be nice,” Minho lied. “Changbin, can you and Jisung grab the chairs? Minnie, you know what to do.” Jeongin was majorly confused at what Minho meant.

The two oldest of the three came back after a few minutes holding four chairs each. The boys sat down in a semicircle. Seungmin came back soon after and whispered something to Minho before sitting down also. 

“It’s midnight,” Felix said to no one in particular. A few minutes passed before they heard leaves crunching and a guitar being strummed. Jeongin didn’t recognize the song at all. He did, however, recognize the voices of two people once they began singing.

“Well you done done me and you bet I felt it  
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted  
I fell right through the cracks  
And now I'm trying to get back,” Chan sang.

“Before the cool done run out  
I'll be giving it my best-est  
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
I reckon it's again my turn  
To win some or learn some,” Hyunjin joined in.

“But I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm yours,” they sang together.

“Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love,” the blonde continued.

“Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing  
We are just one big family  
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved.”

At this point, Jeongin just thought they were performing a mini concert for fun but was still majorly confused as to why it was out in the clearing at a little past midnight.

“So I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours.”

“I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer  
But my breath fogged up the glass  
And so I drew a new face and I laughed.”

“I guess what I been saying is there ain't no better reason  
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons  
It's what we aim to do  
Our name is our virtue,” Hyunjin sang as they both moved closer to the other boys.  
“But I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait I'm yours”

“Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours,” Chan sang while Hyunjin pulled Jeongin up from his chair and to the middle of the semicircle.  
“So please don't please don't please don't  
There's no need to complicate  
'Cause our time is short  
This, oh this, this is our fate, I'm yours,” he finished.

“Jeongin, we met five years ago. We were just sixteen and seventeen. You were shy and kind of scared when you got here. I thought you were so cute the first two times I saw you. Then you were even cuter somehow after you got comfortable here and around me. Do you remember when I used to call you ‘cutie’ almost everyday? You would blush and kind of softly hit me and I thought I would die from how adorable it was. I love your smile and the way your eyes sparkle. The way your hair falls and how messy it is when you first wake up but you still look perfect somehow. I love how when you're really sleepy you'll get super close and hold on to me like a koala. But, out of all the things you do or say, my favorite happens when we're right here in the clearing, looking at the stars. You'll put your head on my shoulder and whisper things that you usually don't say around others. Sometimes they are serious things but sometimes they are funny. Like, how that one time you said you wished you were a croissant. It was really late that night and you were super tired. When I asked you why, you just started giggling. I was severely confused but it was actually cute so I laughed along with you. Or that one time we snuck out and drove the car to town. Then we fell asleep in it as soon as we got back here. If you wouldn’t have woken me up before Chan got up we would have been buried alive. At some point after you came back, I realized that you were the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. It was only a matter of time until we got to this moment. You deserve the very best, someone who will love every part of you, including your flaws. Someone who will treat you with respect, help you reach any goal you have, and be there for you no matter what. Will you let me be the one who loves you until their last breath? Will you marry me?" He finished on one knee.


	65. mon étoile

“We will call this place our home  
The dirt in which our roots may grow  
Though the storms will push and pull  
We call this place our home

We’ll tell our stories on these walls.  
Every year, measure how tall  
And just like a work of art  
We’ll tell our stories on these walls.

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind  
Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide  
Settle our bones like wood over time, over time  
Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine.” The boy stopped singing as he felt two arms wrap around his waist.

“What are you singing now?” Hyunjin asked. “North by Sleeping At Last,” Jeongin answered.   
“It sounds beautiful. Does it make you think of this new place?” 

“A little bit, yeah,” the younger boy said as he turned around and kissed the taller boy. “Changbin and Felix are bringing more paint later when they come. Felix is going to help me paint some of the rooms.”

“That’s good. Are you hungry? Do you want something for lunch? You’ve been working all morning and I know you didn’t eat breakfast so you probably are hungry."

The brunette giggled, “I’m okay, Jinnie.” “You should probably eat though, Innie. I don’t want you to overexert yourself or anything,” the blonde pouted.

“I’ll take a break, okay? How about we make a pizza or something?” The blonde nodded while smiling, satisfied that he had gotten the boy to stop.

Jeongin poured himself a glass of water while Hyunjin put the frozen pizza into the oven. “Come here, Innie.” The smaller boy walked over to his husband. “Do you think we’ll be happy here?” Hyunjin asked as he wrapped his arms around the boy from the back. “We’re already happy together so why would this place make it any different?” Jeongin responded. “I don’t know. It hasn’t just been us living somewhere before. We’ve always had the other boys with us. I just don’t want this to turn out bad.” 

Jeongin turned to face the other boy, “do you think it will?” “No. If I thought it would, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I love you,” Jeongin whispered. “I love you too,” Hyunjin whispered back. 

“I’m going to go through some of those boxes that we packed a few months ago.” “Oh, really? You’ve finally decided to do it?” Hyunjin teased. “Shut up or I’ll make you do it.” Hyunjin chuckled at the small boy. 

After they ate lunch, Jeongin went back to painting the living room. They had been trying to paint each room in order of how necessary they were. First, their bedroom. Next, the kitchen. Then, the living room. After that, it didn’t matter as much.

“Yo, yo, yo!” Someone yelled from the front door. “Minsung in the house!” 

Hyunjin groaned as he laid the items he was taking out of a box on the bed and walked out of the room. “Jisung, you don’t have to make a grand entrance every time. You know that, right?” 

“Yes, I do. If you can be dramatic, then I can be chaotic.” 

“I hate you so much. Hey, Minho,” he mumbled as he rubbed his temples. “Hey,” the older boy replied. “I thought Changbin and Felix were coming.”

“They never specifically told us a time, but they’ll be here soon.” As soon as the words left the boy's mouth, there was a knock on the door. “Felix, you guys have a key. Why do you knock?” Hyunjin asked once the two boys walked into the house. “Common decency, duh. Plus, I want to make sure we don’t accidentally walk in on anything. I wouldn’t want you two to walk in on us, you know?” Felix stated. Jisung fake gagged. “Shut up, Jisung. We know what goes on when you and Minho are alone,” Changbin remarked. “Are you all going to stand there talking about what unholy actions you commit on your own time or are we going to get this place finished?” Seungmin asked, scaring Minho in the process. “Where the fuck did you come from?” “Yeah, when did you get here?” 

“I’ve actually been in the back yard for an hour. Chan’s in the room with Innie.” 

Felix yelled as he went searching for what everyone assumed to be Jeongin. “He forgot the paint,” Changbin muttered. 

Once everyone was focused on their own tasks, the house was mildly quiet. They finished painting the rest of the rooms and even moved in a bunch of the furniture. 

It took them another week before they were completely done with moving in everything and making sure it was all in place too. All the hard work paid off when on the first day after it all, Hyunjin was able to relax on the couch with Jeongin in his arms. They spent almost the entire day like that until an idea popped into Hyunjin’s head. He quickly got up, leaving a confused Jeongin behind. He grabbed multiple blankets from their spare room and went back to where the younger boy was still sitting. “Why don’t we go lay outside for a little bit?” He suggested. Jeongin smiled and nodded. Just like the good times, he thought. When they finally got situated, it was slightly nostalgic. New place; same old feelings. Hyunjin spoke, pointing up at the constellation, “that’s Aquarius right there." “That one is Piscis Austrinus, right?” “Yep, the southern fish.” 

They stared up at the night sky and listened to the sound of the whistling wind. Neither spoke a word until Hyunjin leaned closer to place a kiss on the boys’ cheek, “I love you.” Jeongin smiled softly, ‘I love you too.”

This could be home. This could be the place they made more memories. 

They whisper sweet nothings which only they can hear, as they lie there in the dim starlight, wrapped in each other’s embrace. When the clouds cover the moon, the stars share their secrets.


End file.
